Blog entry for:

to move into action.
after my conversion to this spiritual path, each time i hit one of these miracles through the grace of a loving and caring HIGHER POWER readings, i wonder how do i fit into the whole picture of my fellowship. being without a so-called mainstream representation of GOD, makes me accommodate the language to fit what i feel and be able to share those feelings with my peers and acquaintances. what i believe and how i see the spiritual side of the program, is unaffected by this sort of reading, it simply just is. i believe in random chance, and i also believe that each and every decision i make from where to turn on a road trip, to what time i get up in the morning creates the events that follow. when i choose a path based on integrity and the desire to succeed, i generally do succeed. i put little FAITH into what sun sign i was born under or predestination, and yet when it comes to how i came to be here, it is easy for me to choose the default explanation, namely that i am here because of that very grace that i find not applicable in my current spiritual outlook.
i do have FAITH, that all i need will arrive in my life today. i do have FAITH, that if i choose to act with integrity, do what i say i am going to do, i will get what i need. my FAITH also extends to the certainty that if i am present and pay attention to what is happening around me, i may get the chance to get what i want, without violating the very principles that comprise my FAITH. the nice part of this path, is that i need not crave to be forgiven by a HIGHER POWER, and i am certainly not worried enough about what happens when i shuffle off this mortal coil, to seek salvation.there is a certain comfort in having FAITH to move forward, own my mistakes, treat others with respect and be okay just the way i am, without having to fill that spiritual void with all sorts of signs of wealth or affection.as the old cliché goes, i certainly know ”on what side my bread is buttered”
so when it comes to luck, being lucky or unlucky or miserable, i choose not to put a label on any event in my life. sure it sucked that i got charged because someone else died. if one had asked back in that day, i would have said the stupid sh!ts, did they not know how to use properly. when i got dragged into the whole morass that brought me to recovery, i was certain that my life was over and i was suffering from a streak of very bad luck. it turned out that dismal situation led me to a way of life, i enjoy today. that string of coincidences opened a door that i had never ever considered and once opened, allowed me to begin the process of becoming the man i have always wanted to be.once i saw that as evidence of a GOD, loving and caring, working in my life, caring for me, way before i was ready too see IT. now i see that chain of events as a random chance event, that as a result of, i made a set of decision that put me firmly on this path. an opportunity, if you will, to start a different path and embrace a lifestyle that completely and utterly foreign to me.
the best part of all of this, is that i need not seek forgiveness on Sunday morning, because for the most part i have already owned what i did wrong, admitted my mistake and fixed the damage i have done. if that means i am doomed and damned, then oh well, that too is a conscious choice i make today as i move further and further away from any sort of deistic outlook. i like being able to sleep at night, not worrying about how “pure” my motives may or may not be, because part of being me is to incorporate my FAITH that some POWER is keeping me clean, fueling my recovery and providing me what i need. each and every single day. it is a good day to walk in FAITH that yes, as long as i keep doing what i am doing, i will be well.

∞ DT ∞