Blog entry for:

something special to the world is certainly as aspiration i can live up to. a year ago, i went on and on, about how cynic like me looks at things, today, i can just say yes, i aspire to make the world just a little bit better.
yesterday, as quiet as it was in my world, i got some glimpses into the chaos of my friends, peers and acquaintances.listening to their emotional reaction to what was going on with and without them, i wondered if i was on the wrong side of the issue at hand. as i sat last night and tried to do my TENTH STEP, i felt a certainty that i was making a difference in the lives of a few people and that i NEED them to make a difference in my life. it is ironic that sometimes, it is not in the lives of my friends and sponsees, i seem to make the most difference, it is that random person i bump into, in the course of my daily affairs. sure i would love to have my 15 minutes of FAME and barring that 15 minutes of notoriety, but do i need to have either of those. most of the human race lives and dies in obscurity, making contributions to the lives around them and never getting any recognition at all. today i am content with that role, in my life.
there was once a time where i believed i had a greater role to play and i was a victim of circumstances, that kept me from making a splash on a grander scale. those “pipe dreams” dogged me for quite some time, until they finally faded away into the sunset. today, if i can provide what one other addict needs to stay clean today, that is contribution enough. if i have the chance to demonstrate my love for my friends and family, that too is a sufficient contribution to my world. more importantly, if i can get through today, without tearing someone down, doubting their sincerity or struggling to find the truth in their pile of bullsh!t, than i am making a contribution, in no small way, to the world around me. i am what i am, and today i want to be just a little bit more. i can be a force for a little bit better world around me, or i can start the chaos swirling, the choice of which contribution i make, is up to me, and right here and right now i choose to be a little bit softer, kinder and perhaps even a little less cynical than i was yesterday.

∞ DT ∞