Blog entry for:

looking at what makes me different or **special** seems to go against everything i have been hearing i recovery, since the day i walked into my first meeting. over and over again, i was told to see the similarities between myself and my peers, instead of focusing on the differences. the fact of the matter is, it was my DESIRE to be **different** that kept me apart from the love of the fellowship. coming to see myself as an equal peer to those in the rooms, was one of the greatest journeys i ever took, even though i knew from the start that i was not some cookie-cutter version of a recovering addict. reconciling that i have something unique to offer and being part of the whole, is what bubbled up from the void this morning.
i am not one of those who walks on the “sunny side of the street” twenty-four/seven. in fact i am cynical, sarcastic and tend to dwell in the darker palaces of my life. as much as i think i might want to leave that all behind, and trust me there have been times when that is true, i ave come to a place that i see, as the reading suggests, that i have to accept that as part of the “unique” offerings i give to my friends, family and peers in recovery. i really do not know who i reach when i share about how i view reality, and have come to a place where judging my peers who are always “bright and shiny” as being in denial, is a sign of growth on my part. life in my world is not all bad, even though it seems that is how i present it, when i share with those around me.
before this day gets too much hotter and smokier, i need to get out and get my steps. 12 STEPS may keep me clean and give me a manner of living that allows me to be comfortable in my own skin and add value to my community, but 12,500 steps a day, is what is removing my spare tire and giving me the ability to climb above it all. it is a good day to be clean and yes, i have something unique to offer everyone in my life.

∞ DT ∞