Blog entry for:

of MY human heart is to make some sort of contribution to the state of the world.
okay seriously this could be one of those Kum-By-Yah topics for me, where the birds are tweeting and flying around and unicorns and rainbows cover the landscape, sort of like Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah. be that as it may, yes i want to contribute something, leave a mark on the world, be missed when i am gone and leave a legacy of more than being just another dope fiend. way back when, i believed that i was DESTINED top be great and it was my family, my culture, my social situation, my friends or my school, that was holding me back. when i glimpse back, i am amazed anyone could put up with me, as i am more than certain the contribution i made to their lives was one of misery and pain.
so what about today? after a quarter century of using and a few days clean, i have a more realistic look at what and who i am. i may not ever get my fifteen minutes of fame, but i can see that being present, serving my fellowship and staying clean, i am making a contribution to the betterment of the world, especially the staying clean part. when i was using? well i need not go back there, except to say that i was what the book says more than once, selfish, self-obsessed and self-absorbed. today? not so much. growing up in recovery has been quite the journey, and perhaps one day i will tell one of my co-workers the story of my lost decades, but juts for today i will be grateful for those years, as they have brought me to the plave i am today: uniquely qualified to carry a message of HOPE.
anyhow, got to get moving, as my day has a few tasks already scheduled and more may be coming over the horizon at me. i am grateful that i am clean and i can be a part of something more.

∞ DT ∞