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as others do? thinking about this reading and the track my life has taken over the past week has my head a bit spinning. nothing bad, just wondering how i have been seeing myself lately and how others have been seeing me.
for me, this can be one of those slippery slopes back into less than savory behaviors. one of the the leftovers of my active addiction was the need to seek approval from everyone who happened to run across my path. i would then do whatever i needed to do to be accepted, juding my value by their reactions. i would however become defensive and abusive if any of those unfortunate souls happebned to provide any sort of feedback on who and what i was. the reading does not talk about seeking approval, nor does it suggest that i return to judging myself through the eyes of others. what it does suggest that i listen to what is being said to me and evaluate those interactions as valid comments on who i am and how i am behaving. in fact, the reading goes as far to say even malicious comments may have some merit.
my self-worth and self-esteem have finally begun to approach a place where i can listen to criticism without immeadiatly shutting down and dismissing it, althoiugh i have to come to a place wher i can just listen and accept all of the time. i know i like to provide what i consider valuable insight to those around me, and learning how to value that same candor from the people in my life is a task that i am willing to learn. after all, i participate in a spiritual path that values honesty, open-mindedness and willingness above all else and willing opening my mind to the honest criticism of my life fits into this way of life.
does this mean that i will smile and say "so long and thanks for all the fish?" well not quite, but i can move towards a place where i not only accept but solicit feedback on who and what i am and how i am demonstrating my commitement to myself to become the person i was always intended to be.