Blog entry for:

of who i am and how the rest of the world sees me, is not necessarily something i wake up every morning craving. in fact, most of the time, i would rather everyone would just leave me alone and allow me to act out in whatever manner i choose to, without providing any criticism or feedback. 😜 when all things are considered, HOWEVER, i kn ow that the feedback i get from those around me, especially when they choose not to say something is very important and something i NEED to which i need to pay attention. i know that part of me i call addiction does not believe that i have any “shortcomings” and any less than stellar behaviors can be easily justified and rationalized away, tap-dancing away in a flurry of smoke and mirrors. knowing that sad fact of this addict's life, makes hearing what others are telling me, even in jest far more important.
living in a temperate climate in the winter season presents all sorts of challenges. this morning it appears that six or so inches of heavy wet snow decided to grace my location, overnight. not only do i have an hour of work rearranging that snowfall, i also will have to go to the Rec Center to work out this morning, across that same frozen winter wonderland. in days past, this would provide an instant justification for not working out, after all, it is cold and the roads are slick and snow covered.today, i value myself a bit more and taking care of my physical fitness is no less important than taking care of my civic duty of clearing my sidewalk, or my responsibility to get the dawg past her reluctance to get her paws wet and snow-covered. that is my next task of the morning, shoveling snow.
as i consider what i can do the help out my neighbor her time of grief, i know that i can continue to do the good deed i have been doing and not worry about whether or not she sees me doing it. i am sad that her husband finally shuffled off the mortal coil after a very long and well fought battle with his illness. it make me sad when i see others, who are less affected by illness give up on their lives so easily and wonder what their payoff is for their continued increasing reliance on the kindness of others. it is goo for me to see that one can have a debilitating illness and still make the most of their life, to the very end. with that thought on the top of my head, i can say that it is time to dress out and get some snow removal done and be grateful that just for today, i can listen to what those around me are telling me. i may not like what they are saying, but i will not discount it, just because …

∞ DT ∞