โฒ averting a crash, โฎ
Posted: Wed, Jan 23, 2019 07:35:08 AM
by exercising the choice to perform the tasks that have allowed me to live an active program of recovery. although i have been writing a whole lot about nicotine and tobacco, that really is not that big of an issue. when i look at how easily i could slip back into being a full-time smoker, it appears jarring and hopeless. part of what is helping the past two days anyhow, is that when i feel that i am going to CHOOSE to use, i look at what is happening in the here and now and ask myself am i truly choosing or am i allowing a substance to take the place of the POWER that fuels my recovery? the answer has been, that i am giving that substance far more power over my thoughts and actions, than i really need to and surrendering that into the competent care of the POWER that fuels my recovery. the difference between choice and obsession is all in the context of what i am feeling. the biggest clue, at least for me, is when i start making justifications and rationalizations to grab a cigar and light up. what i am working towards and what will take a POWER far greater than myself or nicotine to achieve, is true freedom from the obsession and compulsion to use nicotine in any form. that journey has begun and all i have to do is let go and allow that to unfold as it will.
i can say without any reservation that my relationship with nicotine delivery systems has been a drag on my serenity, when there are more things that are going on in my life. this distraction is making me confuse what i want and what i need. i want a way out of the mess i have made in my life, i need the will to eke my way out bit by bit and stop looking for the quick fix. with that in mind, i think i will do the next right thing and head on down the pike to work. i have stuff on my plate and today is a good day to let everything go and see what comes. stress and fear do not need to be the overarching concepts of my waking life to0day, because i do have a bit of FAITH in the program that has got me this far and a POWER that can take me even further.
i can say without any reservation that my relationship with nicotine delivery systems has been a drag on my serenity, when there are more things that are going on in my life. this distraction is making me confuse what i want and what i need. i want a way out of the mess i have made in my life, i need the will to eke my way out bit by bit and stop looking for the quick fix. with that in mind, i think i will do the next right thing and head on down the pike to work. i have stuff on my plate and today is a good day to let everything go and see what comes. stress and fear do not need to be the overarching concepts of my waking life to0day, because i do have a bit of FAITH in the program that has got me this far and a POWER that can take me even further.
∞ DT ∞