Blog entry for:

better prepared me to make sound decisions, i GET to determine what, for me, is the fitting way to seek the guidance of the POWER that fuels my recovery. sitting here, pondering the ins and outs of who i am and where i happen to be going, a couple of things that were uttered in the past few days, come home to roost, as it were. when i was sharing with one of my peers the other night, i said that the speaker at convention was a bit too “GOD-ly” in her share. i want to believe that i have overcome my prejudice and bias towards my peers who speak in bold and uncompromising terms about the FAITH part of their program. the evidence is, that there are certainly still echoes of those attitudes, as IF i was freed from them, i would not have noticed. the other “event” was one of my peers, saying that what was read during the meeting last night was very “Bible-ish,” and i could feel where they were coming from and could be both empathetic and compassionate towards how they felt. been there, done that, got the T-shirt. of course, as if it is was predestined, the reading this morning is all about GOD and my relationship with GOD, so i get to tap dance around my feelings and beliefs or come straight out and say that i was expecting to be put-off by this reading , once again. in stead, as i sat this morning i “saw” that when i stripped out and replaced the terms that give me issue, i could “listen” fro the will of the POWER that fuels my recovery.
whew, that was a long way around. i GET that many in my fellowship find comfort in the spiritual path they were born into. i GET that the fellowship co-opted those terms, because in the USA, that is what most of us know. starting from scratch, and pitching the overtly religious overtones of a fellowship dealing with a single substance, may have swelled the ranks of recovering addicts, back in the day, but would have provided very little context for the spiritual side of the program. the fact that i could dismiss the “GOD-ly” part and listen to her message of recovery is evidence that even if i have a bias against a religion and its terms, that i am “well” to allow others to reach me, in spite of their path to FAITH. my journey to reach this point in recovery has gone through all sorts of mental gymnastics and mind-f*ckery. all of that was needed to become who i am today and that person no longer NEEDS to judge others by how they express their relationship with GOD. i am not well enough, however, not to notice and these days, i have to actively dismiss what my head is telling me about my peers, at least when it comes to their spiritual practices. i am okay with that and this morning as i head into work, i think i can let go of the judgement i have formed of my co-worker and believe in the words i say to encourage his professional growth.

∞ DT ∞