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is part of living an active program, at least for me. where once i lived in abject fear of relapse, either because i did not want to bring on legal consequences or because i was afraid i would be one and done, today i live in FAITH, that my life in active recovery will lead me through another day clean. i do not need to take on **projects** to validate this recovery gig. i know that many of my peers, focus their attention on the newest of the new, and i am grateful that they choose to do so. i am more of the opinion that i can **attract** by living by my values, instead of sharing them out loud at every meeting i happen to attend. for me, developing a relationship with the new guys that come my way, is a task that takes time and goes way beyond the first thirty, sixty or ninety days of their recovery. bit by bit, i learn to give them what i have, from what was given to me. my **project** on a daily basis, is to foster my growth in recovery and allow those results show in the manner in which i live.
i have, however, got a bit off track. the reading was all about vigilance and how i keep my recovery going day after day. over the past few years, as my spiritual path “blossomed” into what it is today, i have decried using the term GOD to describe how i see the POWER that fuels my recovery. when i was sitting with one of the men who call me their sponsor on Friday afternoon, i asked him to describe his vision of what GOD is and is not. i could tell by the puzzled expression on his face, that he had never considered that question. he is not the first of the men i have sponsored over the length of my days clean to stumble on that question, and it seems to be the ones that are firmly rooted in a path of Christian spirituality. i am not saying that his spiritual path is at fault. what i am saying is that because everything was presented to him as a package deal, he never took the time to think critically about what he has been given. my task, at least as i see it, is to get him to explore what he knows and own it. i am not certain who well i will succeed in that mission, but if i do not venture doing so, he does not gain anything. oops there i go again, going down a rabbit hole that just popped up. for me, GOD is part of my spiritual path and is better described as the POWER that fuels my recovery. using the term GOD, allows me to connect with my peers and gives us a common starting point.
this morning, as i deal with my less than stellar physical health, i am wondering how i will spend the hours of my last day off from work. i know i am going to take a walk, and perhaps it will be a little better than yesterday. i am also going to go help my Dad out the jam he has gotten himself in. i might even get my office cleaned and the Christmas lights taken down and put away. for now, however i am going to dress for success in staying warm, as i traipse the neighborhoods with the dawg and be okay knowing that just for today, i have decided that i have the DESIRE to live a program of active recovery.

∞ DT ∞