Blog entry for:

ready to spring the trap if i give it the opportunity. so as i sit here this morning, waiting my 90 minutes or so to have my Christmas gift installed, i feel like i could be angry about what the sale staff told me yesterday about what time the store opened and how long the install would take. i COULD be, but i am not. a little bit hot and bothered, but i have a plan to do stuff while i am waiting, in fact i used the first hour to get work started at Starbucks and because i have to wait, i have time to do the same and a task to accomplish as well. so i guess the world is spinning in the right direction this morning, and i just need to let go and allow this day to unfold as it will.
the reading spoke about eternal vigilance, but went on to say that just because i slack a bit, i may not end up using, today. so the gift of vigilance is grace. grace that, at least for me has been hard won. with all the news about the new era that has dawned here in Colorado, the local news has been more than a little bit triggering for me, but you know what, i am not standing in line to try out my new right. no i am sitting here, not listening to the voice that is the addict within, telling me the lies about clean time and abstinence. as interesting as it may seem, i know that this is just the first step in a nationwide and more than likely world wide paradigm shift. prohibition never worked, and enforced morality is on its way out. i do not use, because i do not want to use. i do not run to the dope man, because i have no desire to run to the dope man, regardless if the dope man is my closest corner store.
enough about what could be, after all, as Shakespeare once wrote, “id wishes were horses, everyone would ride.” i know the freedom i enjoy today is not the result of wishing myself clean, and as much as i wish others clean, it is their work and vigilance, and only their work and vigilance that will do the trick. there is no magic or miracles here, just the results of applied spiritual principles, which takes the appearance of a miracle or three, on a daily basis in my life. the secret sauce, as it were: is the desire to stay clean, no matter what and to take the action suggested by those who have been here, day after day. i am not very good about doing what i am supposed to do, so when they told me that was WHAT i had to do, needless to say, i was more than a bit rebellious and has to try it MY way, which nearly killed me.
today, it really is no big deal, although what wanted to do this evening, looks more and more in doubt right now. yes make plans if you want to hear GOD laugh, is the case today. i do have a task or three that i can get done and i am almost out of ideas to write here today. moving on, i m letting go, doing the next right thang and seeing what the rest of the day will bring, just for today. so happy new year, one and all, may this year bring you the gifts you deserve, i know the last brought them to me.

∞ DT ∞