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i would like to think that i am a low-maintenance person to sponsor and perhaps this is true today, but it has not always been the case. in different phases of my recovery the men have sponsored me have given me different things.
my first sponsor gave me his phone number and for quite a while that is all he gave me, after all i was the one who chose not to call unless everything at that particular moment was perfect in my opinion. after all, the last thing i needed then was help of any sort from another man. that changed when i finally made the decision to do this whole recovery gig and i was amazed about what that man was willing to give me and what i was finally willing to accept. my first sponsor gave me the start of the tools i needed to recover and guided me through the first fifteen months of my recovery as well as the last three months of my active addiction. it was quite a surprise to see him in attendance when i shared my story last september. i am grateful that he did not abandon me in those final days of using, even though i was dishonest with him and tried to use him to provide an alibi for my last use. by the time to come to fellowship that gave me this new life came, we had drifted apart and i ended-up self-sponsoring out of self-will more than anything else.
my second sponsor was not a choice i made any conscious effort to obtain, i just started to talk with him one evening after a meeting, and voila, i had my new sponsor. he showed me that the fellowship that i had just really arrived in offered more than just a social life. he was a bit more stern than my first sponsor and kicked my ass through ten steps before his life and self-will removed him from my life. what i got from him was the first glimpses of who i could become and the importance of staying in the rooms. his insanity and self-will almost destroyed him and i am so grateful that he made it back clean and mostly intact. that was my first and hopefully experiment with long-dstance sponsorship. i found that i require a little more love and attention than i can get on periodic phone calls and infrequent face-to-face conversations.
my current sponsor was my second sponsor‘s sponsor and he helped me cope with my sponsor‘s disappearance. what i get from him these days is the constancy of always being close at hand. he guided me through the last two steps and opened my mind to the possibilities of what my life could be. i am grateful for his presence and do not call him as often as i would like to. i thought about putting in a big BUT here, i decided to start a new thought instead. the two of us have shared common pain, hope and disappointment since we formalized our current relationship and he provides me the insight i need to continue my journey along the path i have been chosen to walk.
so do i take the men who have agreed to sponsor me for granted? sometimes i certainly do, but when i get reminded ever so gently by the daily meditation i can once again remember that they deserve a bit of my attention and perhaps a call to thank them for being part of my life and guiding through this whole recovery gig.

THANK YOU CARLOS FOR BEING MY SPONSOR

time to give you a call....

∞ DT ∞