ℑ whatever help i may need with living a program of recovery ℑ
Posted: Wed, Feb 8, 2012 07:45:50 AM
it is my job to ask my sponsor for his help and guidance.
this reading takes me back to a conversation i had with a sponsee the other day. he told me that taking anything he does personally would be a problem, and although i thought he was just being full of himself, as i sit on that statement and consider it, i can see that he is correct. the next part for me to do, is to detach my personal feelings from the outcome of his actions. honestly, of all the the men i sponsor , and i probably sponsor too many, his lack of success weighs on my the hardest. none of them have ever taken my guidance, every single time. the difference between him and all the other men i sponsor, is they stay clean and he does not. somewhere down the line i got confused in this case as to what my job happens to be. how my boundaries got messed up and obliterated in this instance is irrelevant, recognizing that they are and deciding to something about that, is what is important today. the fact is, that i am close to most of the men i sponsor, we participate in more than one relationship and in do so in a healthy manner. here, however, i FEEL that i NEED to save him from himself. it finally came to me, last night, i have more invested in his recovery, than he does, and when he turns his back on that investment, i get pissed off.
how will i detach? well for one, own my responsibility in this matter. after taking the corrective part suggested in my TENTH STEP, last night, amend my behavior to separate what is his from what is mine. next, to suggest that because i have such a personal stake in the outcome of his recovery, he may desire to seek out another sponsor. finally, call my sponsor and set up some time to catch-up with him, as it has been far too long since we had any time together.
on that note i think i will sign-off and see what is happening in the rest of thois crazy world that i have the gift to be a part of today.
this reading takes me back to a conversation i had with a sponsee the other day. he told me that taking anything he does personally would be a problem, and although i thought he was just being full of himself, as i sit on that statement and consider it, i can see that he is correct. the next part for me to do, is to detach my personal feelings from the outcome of his actions. honestly, of all the the men i sponsor , and i probably sponsor too many, his lack of success weighs on my the hardest. none of them have ever taken my guidance, every single time. the difference between him and all the other men i sponsor, is they stay clean and he does not. somewhere down the line i got confused in this case as to what my job happens to be. how my boundaries got messed up and obliterated in this instance is irrelevant, recognizing that they are and deciding to something about that, is what is important today. the fact is, that i am close to most of the men i sponsor, we participate in more than one relationship and in do so in a healthy manner. here, however, i FEEL that i NEED to save him from himself. it finally came to me, last night, i have more invested in his recovery, than he does, and when he turns his back on that investment, i get pissed off.
how will i detach? well for one, own my responsibility in this matter. after taking the corrective part suggested in my TENTH STEP, last night, amend my behavior to separate what is his from what is mine. next, to suggest that because i have such a personal stake in the outcome of his recovery, he may desire to seek out another sponsor. finally, call my sponsor and set up some time to catch-up with him, as it has been far too long since we had any time together.
on that note i think i will sign-off and see what is happening in the rest of thois crazy world that i have the gift to be a part of today.
∞ DT ∞