than willing to walk in FAITH. i have to admit, i am one of those folks who likes to believe he has more than a modicum of control of his life. it took quite a long minute for me to surrender to the fact that i was a garden variety addict and even longer to accept that maybe i needed a different path to follow, if i wanted more out of life. with all of that behind me, the FAITH that i have built up across the days i have been clean, is that IF i choose to follow a path that includes living an active program of recovery, i will be given all i need to stay clean today. IF i stay clean today, by surrendering to the POWER that fuels my recovery and stay present, i will get all the opportunities to get all that i need, even if i do not know what it is i need. that FAITH grows each and every day, even if i do think things are changing for the better. i may not always know what the will of. HIGHER POWER may be for me, but i certainly can feel my way through the decision to do the next correct thing. thinking my way out of a hole, spiritual, emotional, financial or physical, is not a path that leads to the consequences i desire. desire is still a big thing in my life. desire is still the root of many of the “issues” that come across my path. FAITH, on the other hand, is my foil to the desire that seems to rule my life, when i decide to step out of the path i have found.
this morning, as i drove into the office to spend some time with the out of town peers and participate in a celebration, i found the ways and means to allow those other commuters to get what they desired, which seemed to be in front of me, no matter how small the space. i know tht i could have stayed home and come down later, after stand-up, but listening to my heart, rather than my head, made the decision for me, it is better to be here and be a part of, rather than be there and work in isolation. with that in mind, it is time for me to post this little ditty and get to work on the project i nearly completed yesterday, as i want it out the door on the next release. it is a good day to have a bit of FAITH that by paying attention, i will see and hear all that i need to, just for today.
∞ DT ∞