Blog entry for:

well i have been whining about the changes in my life and all the stress and how terrible i feel about all that. in fact, i have been practicing a bit, well actually a whole lot of self-pity, over the past week or so. nothing i have been going through is anything different than millions of people across the world, ‘normies’ as well as those in recovery. the only difference is that i have the means at my disposal to do more than wallow in self-pity. i have chosen to live in recovery and i have chosen to stay clean today. that choice does not href='http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/preclude'>preclude self-pity but it does provide me a structure to find things that i am grateful for in my life, whatever its current configuration. so what would i say if one the men who choose to allow me to sponsor them came with similar complaints? well being the rat bastard that i am, i would let them whine for a minute or two and then ask them what in their current situation do they have to be grateful for. putting my words into action i have to look at what part of my current situation i have to be grateful for!

• first off - i get a warm feeling kissing the woman i love goodbye before i head out to work
• i get to share my bed, my house, and my life with that same person
• the ten percent pay cut allows me to keep my job
• and being laid-off forces me to actually find a job that allows me to realize my goals
• and most important of all:
  i have my health, my sanity, recovery, friends and family members who love and care for me unconditionally

i can deal with all this change today, and i will come out on the other side with my recovery intact and with a deeper appreciation of life‘s little joys and triumphs. i can be okay today with my life just as it is and look to the future with excitement and hope! and that is a helluva lot better than wallowing in self-pity and misery. after all i did not get clean to continue to create my own misery. i did decide to break free from the prison of active addiction just to enslave myself to a new self-made prison of regret and self-pity. i got clean to find a new life and discover a new manner of living and the time has come to allow GOD to do the job GOD started all those years ago.

∞ DT ∞