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the things that are wrong, does little to help me on my daily journey. ignoring those things, however, is not the answer, as no matter how grateful i may be for what is going well in my life, the answer to what is going wrong, is certainly not sweeping it under a **gratitude** carpet. for instance, due to something that was not my fault, i have to work several hours tonight and Monday night recreating a file for my client at work. as awful as that may sound, i CHOSE this as a solution so the little bump in the road that occurred yesterday afternoon, does not happen again. a little bit of financial magic yesterday, worked out well for me, but i had built an expectation for someone else, that did not come to pass. i am not sure what i can do to correct that, but that does not mean i NEED to beat myself up and tell myself what a bad person i am. the gratitude part here, is that both of those examples, demonstrate how “human” i actually am and point me in the direction of forgiving myself for making a mistake or three.
what really popped to the stack today, is that i have a closet full of pants that do not fit me anymore. i have a tendency to hold on to everything, just in case, even though i would try and claim a moral high ground of not being a material boy. one of the tasks i have set for myself today, is to take those ill-fitting clothes to a place where they can be recycled and resold to those who may actually be able to wear them, instead of clinging to them, to demonstrate to myself, how much “stuff” i have. part of doping the next right thing, for me anyhow, is opening myself up to the notion that more may not actually be better.
this morning, as i pause to see what is good in my life and what i can be grateful for, today, i keep coming back to the idea of making my amends to myself and how that affects those in my life, who love and care for me. for a person, who never thought he did anything wrong, to a person that felt he did everything wrong, i am grateful that the pendulum has started to stop swinging and is finding a resting spot, somewhere between those two extremes. if not for a spiritual path that leads to redemption, i would have never got to this place, in fact i would have never known that this journey was even one that this addict could embark upon. i may not be the most spiritual guy on the block, but this morning, i am grateful for another day to grow towards that ideal.

∞ DT ∞