Blog entry for:

well that would be difficult to say, as i have received many valuable gifts across the course of my recovery journey. certainly being able to live an attitude of gratitude is one of this gifts. today, i would say, spending time with a couple of friends and surviving the experience. although i did not make the summit of Mt. Bierstadt, elevation:14,060 feet, i did go as far as this old out of shape body could take me, and arrived home in one piece. i am sore, tired and more than likely home for the evening, but i am alive and i get to kick it another day. okay, so i exaggerate a bit, i was never in any danger of dying, but i did not make the saddle, as i realized that PRIDE would kill me. if i want to hike with my friends, i am going to need to get into shape, so right now i am grateful that i had the presence of mind, to say when and let go of my ego and pride.
the line i pulled out of context was stated that a spiritual awakening was the greatest gift an addict could ever receive. i was going to start down that path, but i paused and looked at my day, instead of what i might have thought my day was going to be. now that is out of the way, so back to my original thought, and now of course i am stuck at what might have been. when i came to recovery, i was in a spiritual coma, by any definition of the word. across the course of my step work and learning to live a program i have had many awakenings, culminating in the notion, that i need not have a HIGHER POWER that looks, acts or sounds like any one else's. that revelation, as earth-shattering as it was to me, was what i had been hearing since the day i walked into the rooms, i just had too much pride, ego and FEAR, to step into the process and allow it to take me away. today i live in a brand new world, and i am GRATEFUL, that i finally found my way, this gift is without bounds and fills me with the sense of serenity that was sorely lacking in my life. so i think i will close this down, head on out to a meeting and see what else i can learn today, other than i am not firt enough to make 14,060 ft, in a single hike.

∞ DT ∞