Blog entry for:

about the unrevealed parts of my life, is not something i ever thought i would do. after all, what no one can see or know, is stuff they cannot use against me in the court of public opinion. protecting my image, has always been one of the driving forces in my behavior, even after i got clean and even after i finally became a member. learning to trust someone with my “deepest and darkest” was relatively easy, compared with trusting everyone with the teeny-tiny secrets that comprise who i am. my sponse knows everything and will learn more about me in the near future. in the course of my recovery, i have opened my life up to my peers and associates, up to a point. there are still parts of who i am, i keep on the down-low, for whatever reasons.
this morning, as i pound this out, i am quite certain that “spilling the beans” to everyone and anyone who will listen, is more than likely not the best course of action for me to take. in fact, there is not a whole lot that i am concealing from either my peers, my loved ones or the general public. it is true, that my political leanings are not something i often discuss with my fellow recovering addicts, unless prompted by them. i also have taken to keeping my less than savory reviews of their behaviors, to myself. i often make comments in this forum about what i see, but what i see in them, is more than often what i do not like in myself and i can use those feelings to become a little bit better.
for now, it is time to wrap this up and get ready to work up a sweat, touring the neighborhood. i am free from work obligations for the next two hours and am starting to once again get up to the level that “hobbled” a month ago. my silly little secret here is that i am not doing as well as i want to be and exercising through the pain, rather than taking time off. my theory is a little is better than none, but i am wondering if that is truly the case. today, as i “step-up” my game, i will need to pay attention to what my body is telling me and react properly instead of forcing the issue.

∞ DT ∞