Blog entry for:

as i was working out this morning, i caught a glimpse of who i was and what the real **gift** is, that i have received across the course of my journey to this point in my recovery. i am not one of those who bows towards Mecca or gets on his knees, when i pray. nor am i one of those who believes that my recovery is solely the work of a HIGHER POWER. the gift i have received is the OPPORTUNITY to stay clean on a daily basis, and those days have piled up to over 8400 days in a row. while it is true that i lived many of those early days in abstinence, i still had the opportunity to “hear” the message and watch how my peers lived their lives. when i reached that place in my life, where i could no longer keep doing what i was doing, because i pretended to be in recovery, i had a path forward into a life of active recovery.
that GIFT, as simple as that may seem today, is something i rejoice in today. day after day, i do ask for the ability to stay clean and express thanks for yet another day clean. it is my job to see the opportunities to implement what i have heard and seen, as i walk through my day. the gift that keeps on giving, for me anyhow, is the ability to see the path forward, at least just for today and CHOOSE to walk it.
the issue i am having addressing what needs to be addressed was also made more clear to me this morning. in my letter to the man i sponsor, i need to be a guide, rather than a judge or a friend. only if i say what i saw and what i think, regardless of the consequences, will i be doing him the service i aspire to do. yes, what i may say will be brutal and will do my best to “SOFTEN THE BLOW,” but today is the day, i need to listen to what i is being put on my heart and move forward. that is the gift i was given this morning, clarity through active recovery.

∞ DT ∞