Blog entry for:

this maintenance includes regular meeting attendance and various forms of service, daily cleaning and, once in a while, a major Fourth Step overhaul. but if i maintain the gift of recovery, thanking the Giver each day, it will continue.
so i got to go to a meeting before writing this today, and i heard all kinds of stuff and some information that i knew but refused to acknowledge. so it goes, that is life in the BIG CITY. i also did not accomplish all that i wanted to accomplish today, that too is life on life’s terms. as i sit here trying to do three things at once, it is this little blog that is suffering. so it goes. however the time has come to focus in on what is important, and now it is writing about the gift of recovery i have been given. yes i am lazy, and i also like to think that i can stay clean on a daily basis without the help of a POWER GREATER THAN ME. that is part of the human condition, at least for this addict. BUT the ability to even pretend that kind of shit is true, comes from the maintainence program i do exercise. i do everything that i have done since the day i got clean plus a few things more, that litany of what it takes this addict to stay clean is so often repeated, i often tune-out because of course i have heard it all before. this reading is a reminder that i NEED to stop tuning out and be present for what is really going on, even though there is probably nothing i have yet to hear.
so breif as this is, it is time for me to get focused on getting a few more things done. after all, i do have a responsibility to pay my bills. yes i treasure my gift whether it is like a car or not, and i will do what it takes to allow it to grow yet another day.

∞ DT ∞