Blog entry for:

my desires, my demands certainly seem to take precedence when i am less than spiritually fit. across the course of my family mini-vacation, i felt myself slipping into that mode more than once. no not spiritually unfit, but certainly wanting my stuff to be front and center. i had to keep reminding myself that i was not there for me, i was there for my niece and as much as i wanted to be the “main attraction” every now and again, i let go of that notion when i pulled my head out of my a$$. all in all, except for my poor decision-making on the way home, it was a very good weekend and one that filled me with a bit of joy and certainly a new outlook on work.
what i heard this morning was that i could be present even for those i did not know. i did not “need” to correct my Mom on her moment in the spotlight, when she attempted to tell yet another “funny” story. it kind of made me sad that she made the choice to relate to the past when she could have brought my Dad into the festivities simply by saying that we missed him and he would have been quite proud of the woman my niece had become, as she entered the next phase of her life. that however, is not my stuff. i did feel a lack of my Dad's presence and if i had a stronger belief in life hereafter, i would have to say, i know he was there. okay, enough about the what was and time to move into the what is.
this morning i am okay with not knowing what tomorrow will bring. i am also okay with taking direction from those who need to provide me that direction. i got the first part of my project wrapped-up last week and now i need to move on to connecting it to the data on the back-end. i also need to mow the lawn, get my fifteen thousand and five hundred steps and take care of myself and my Mom. before all of that, i do need to get a cuppa caffeine and some more steps, before i knuckle down and get pounding away at my work stuff. it is a good day to remember that although i may see the universe from its very center, i am not THE CENTER of the universe. just for today, i can be okay with allowing others to take the reins.

∞ DT ∞