โ my ego, once so large and dominant, can now take a back seat โ
Posted: Mon, Oct 3, 2011 07:03:17 AM
when i am in harmony with the POWER THAT FUELS MY RECOVERY.
i find that i lead richer, happier, and much fuller lives when i lose self-will.
so to meet the current state of my life: spiritual, emotional and physical, i NEEDED to change the seed from the JFT. it would have been nice to use it as is, a direct quote without just the grammar change from first person plural to first person singular, but this morning i did not want to tap dance around the issues presented/. my ego is a direct reflection of self-will, and self-will is a contradiction to the decision i make in STEP 3, and the chain of ugliness goes on from there.
honestly, i am not in the mood for a “me so bad” session this morning, so i will just move along.
what is particularly apt for me this morning, is that this is a theme that has been common in my life lately, ego running my life and self-will running rampant. everyone is all of a sudden demanding more and more of my time, and i have less and less of it to give. it is quite true, that my clients had more than enough opportunities to work through the issues they have today, back when i had lots of time, and their choices to wait until the very last second to test their stuff is not my fault, BUT they certainly do NOT want to hear that. they blame me for stuff not working, and want it fixed this very second, even though they know that my time is limited and i am in a office Monday through Friday. oh well, i will do hat i can, when i can and leave the rest up to the POWER that fuels my recovery. which brings me back to the topic at hand, when i allow my ego to take the front seat in driving this particular bus, i am certainly in store for a dangerous and more than likely deadly ride. well as i prepare to jump in the shower and head on out, i will remember that there is a plan here, it may not be mine and my job is look and listen for clues to that plan and align my plan to that one.
i can do that, after all, i can enhance my relationship with the POWER that fuels my recovery, IF i get out of the way and listen to what is going on. part of that is what my clients are asking as well, so to be rude, curt or anything else with them, is not in my best interest, at least not today.
so one more test and into the world i go.
i find that i lead richer, happier, and much fuller lives when i lose self-will.
so to meet the current state of my life: spiritual, emotional and physical, i NEEDED to change the seed from the JFT. it would have been nice to use it as is, a direct quote without just the grammar change from first person plural to first person singular, but this morning i did not want to tap dance around the issues presented/. my ego is a direct reflection of self-will, and self-will is a contradiction to the decision i make in STEP 3, and the chain of ugliness goes on from there.
honestly, i am not in the mood for a “me so bad” session this morning, so i will just move along.
what is particularly apt for me this morning, is that this is a theme that has been common in my life lately, ego running my life and self-will running rampant. everyone is all of a sudden demanding more and more of my time, and i have less and less of it to give. it is quite true, that my clients had more than enough opportunities to work through the issues they have today, back when i had lots of time, and their choices to wait until the very last second to test their stuff is not my fault, BUT they certainly do NOT want to hear that. they blame me for stuff not working, and want it fixed this very second, even though they know that my time is limited and i am in a office Monday through Friday. oh well, i will do hat i can, when i can and leave the rest up to the POWER that fuels my recovery. which brings me back to the topic at hand, when i allow my ego to take the front seat in driving this particular bus, i am certainly in store for a dangerous and more than likely deadly ride. well as i prepare to jump in the shower and head on out, i will remember that there is a plan here, it may not be mine and my job is look and listen for clues to that plan and align my plan to that one.
i can do that, after all, i can enhance my relationship with the POWER that fuels my recovery, IF i get out of the way and listen to what is going on. part of that is what my clients are asking as well, so to be rude, curt or anything else with them, is not in my best interest, at least not today.
so one more test and into the world i go.
∞ DT ∞