Blog entry for:
Mon, Oct 3, 2011 07:03:17 AM
† my ego, once so large and dominant, can now take a back seat †
posted: Mon, Oct 3, 2011 07:03:17 AM
when i am in harmony with the POWER THAT FUELS MY RECOVERY.
i find that i lead richer, happier, and much fuller lives when i lose self-will.
so to meet the current state of my life: spiritual, emotional and physical, i NEEDED to change the seed from the JFT. it would have been nice to use it as is, a direct quote without just the grammar change from first person plural to first person singular, but this morning i did not want to tap dance around the issues presented/. my ego is a direct reflection of self-will, and self-will is a contradiction to the decision i make in STEP 3, and the chain of ugliness goes on from there.
honestly, i am not in the mood for a “me so bad” session this morning, so i will just move along.
what is particularly apt for me this morning, is that this is a theme that has been common in my life lately, ego running my life and self-will running rampant. everyone is all of a sudden demanding more and more of my time, and i have less and less of it to give. it is quite true, that my clients had more than enough opportunities to work through the issues they have today, back when i had lots of time, and their choices to wait until the very last second to test their stuff is not my fault, BUT they certainly do NOT want to hear that. they blame me for stuff not working, and want it fixed this very second, even though they know that my time is limited and i am in a office Monday through Friday. oh well, i will do hat i can, when i can and leave the rest up to the POWER that fuels my recovery. which brings me back to the topic at hand, when i allow my ego to take the front seat in driving this particular bus, i am certainly in store for a dangerous and more than likely deadly ride. well as i prepare to jump in the shower and head on out, i will remember that there is a plan here, it may not be mine and my job is look and listen for clues to that plan and align my plan to that one.
i can do that, after all, i can enhance my relationship with the POWER that fuels my recovery, IF i get out of the way and listen to what is going on. part of that is what my clients are asking as well, so to be rude, curt or anything else with them, is not in my best interest, at least not today.
so one more test and into the world i go.
i find that i lead richer, happier, and much fuller lives when i lose self-will.
so to meet the current state of my life: spiritual, emotional and physical, i NEEDED to change the seed from the JFT. it would have been nice to use it as is, a direct quote without just the grammar change from first person plural to first person singular, but this morning i did not want to tap dance around the issues presented/. my ego is a direct reflection of self-will, and self-will is a contradiction to the decision i make in STEP 3, and the chain of ugliness goes on from there.
honestly, i am not in the mood for a “me so bad” session this morning, so i will just move along.
what is particularly apt for me this morning, is that this is a theme that has been common in my life lately, ego running my life and self-will running rampant. everyone is all of a sudden demanding more and more of my time, and i have less and less of it to give. it is quite true, that my clients had more than enough opportunities to work through the issues they have today, back when i had lots of time, and their choices to wait until the very last second to test their stuff is not my fault, BUT they certainly do NOT want to hear that. they blame me for stuff not working, and want it fixed this very second, even though they know that my time is limited and i am in a office Monday through Friday. oh well, i will do hat i can, when i can and leave the rest up to the POWER that fuels my recovery. which brings me back to the topic at hand, when i allow my ego to take the front seat in driving this particular bus, i am certainly in store for a dangerous and more than likely deadly ride. well as i prepare to jump in the shower and head on out, i will remember that there is a plan here, it may not be mine and my job is look and listen for clues to that plan and align my plan to that one.
i can do that, after all, i can enhance my relationship with the POWER that fuels my recovery, IF i get out of the way and listen to what is going on. part of that is what my clients are asking as well, so to be rude, curt or anything else with them, is not in my best interest, at least not today.
so one more test and into the world i go.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
letting go of self-will and ego 252 words ➥ Sunday, October 3, 2004 by: donnotα living in harmony Ω 342 words ➥ Monday, October 3, 2005 by: donnot
∞ when my ideas, my desires, my demands take first place in my life, ∞ 388 words ➥ Tuesday, October 3, 2006 by: donnot
α self-will reflects my reliance on ego. The only thing that will free me from self-will ω 514 words ➥ Wednesday, October 3, 2007 by: donnot
μ addiction and self-will go hand in hand, unmanageability is a product of my self-will μ 285 words ➥ Friday, October 3, 2008 by: donnot
± i am learning to consult spiritual principles, not my selfish desires, in making decisions ± 675 words ➥ Saturday, October 3, 2009 by: donnot
§ i find that i lead a richer, happier, and much fuller life § 370 words ➥ Sunday, October 3, 2010 by: donnot
∫ today, i seek freedom from ego and the conflicts generated by self-will ∫ 704 words ➥ Wednesday, October 3, 2012 by: donnot
∅ the ONLY thing that will free me from self-will and the conflict it generates ∅ 604 words ➥ Thursday, October 3, 2013 by: donnot
¤ today, living on self-will can make my life ¤ 501 words ➥ Friday, October 3, 2014 by: donnot
⊗ losing self will ⊗ 525 words ➥ Saturday, October 3, 2015 by: donnot
✋ freedom from ego ✌ 579 words ➥ Monday, October 3, 2016 by: donnot
🍎 the fullness 🍏 685 words ➥ Tuesday, October 3, 2017 by: donnot
🤯 excluding myself 🤫 462 words ➥ Wednesday, October 3, 2018 by: donnot
😎 acting on 😎 498 words ➥ Thursday, October 3, 2019 by: donnot
😠 living in harmony 😣 240 words ➥ Saturday, October 3, 2020 by: donnot
😃 my selfish desires 😉 186 words ➥ Sunday, October 3, 2021 by: donnot
😈 my ideas, 😉 438 words ➥ Monday, October 3, 2022 by: donnot
🏳 surrendering 🏳 544 words ➥ Tuesday, October 3, 2023 by: donnot
🙄 addiction and 🙄 523 words ➥ Thursday, October 3, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
2) Therefore when one is making the Tao his business, those who are
also pursuing it, agree with him in it, and those who are making the
manifestation of its course their object agree with him in that; while
even those who are failing in both these things agree with him where
they fail.