Blog entry for:

new ways to live, ways that reflect who i truly am, seems to be a theme that keeps popping up from the depths on nearly a daily basis. working a program of active recovery, seems to bring a new perspective about who i am, that challenges the notion of who i thought i was and where i thought i was going. rebuilding an identity that was fractured and suppressed for so many years, seems to bring unexpected twists and turns on a seemingly daily basis. it seems that each and every decision i need to make, in the here and now, needs to be run through a consequence filter and a value judgement of whether or not those consequences are acceptable to me. much of my spontaneous nature that i so carefully nurtured in my nascent recovery has gone by the wayside and perhaps it is time to bring a bit of that back.
as always, my plan of the day is to get out on the streets and burn some calories, as soon as i can. looking out my window in the dawn's early light, i am wondering if today i may need to alter that plan, more than a tiny bit. it may not be storming out there, but it certainly does not look like a pleasant outdoor experience, even for a seasoned traveler such as myself. of course, my reluctance to dress warmly and fade the heat, or lack thereof, might just be an excuse for laziness. as uncomfortable as i may look, i certainly have the technology to ameliorate the weather from affecting me in a less than stellar manner.
a HUGE part of living in the present tense and living in a manner that reflects who i am and who i may be becoming, is my physical fitness regimen. as the days go by and my layer of “belly fat” visibly reduces, i no longer need to delude myself about how i look. i am still carrying a roll around my abdomen, but my “love handles” are gone. i can now climb mountains with nearly as much aplomb as my friends and i no longer need to make excuses for not being able to keep up. of course, just like anything else in this new manner of living, all of that can be gone if i choose to crater to my baser desires and just take a short “vacation” from doing the stuff that keeps me moving forward into becoming the person i have the desire to be. IF i want what bi have been given to continue, THEN i need to keep doing what i have done to bring me to this point in my life. that statement is true for all aspects of my life, professional, mental, spiritual, emotional, social and physical. since letting go of what was done to me, by releasing it into the wild, i feel free to pursue all those things that i once believed i was incapable of doing. whether or not anyone else ever takes responsibility for their lives and starts to look for a better way to live, i will not dilly-dally along the path i have chosen. with that in mind, it is time to bundle up and hit the streets, for another day of being a bit more fit than yesterday.

∞ DT ∞