Blog entry for:

all of me! well, after changing up my morning routine to adding a trip to use the stationary bike at the rec center, i totally spaced out about this little exercise. i certainly had time before i started working, but i just got right into the task i started yesterday and well, one can see the result, it is 1130 AM MDT and i am finally getting around to this task. i could be all self-deprecating about this, instead i will just take a break from work and pound this out.
i have to admit that once upon a time i would say that i certainly did accept myself, just as i was. that was however, part of the denial i used to feel “good” about who i really was. the lie i believed as the truth due to my constant repetition fed that denial and it was only a few years ago that i decided that i had yet to deal with that. when the lie was exploded, i was out in terra incognito and have been on a journey of discovery ever since. today, i have moved beyond surrendering to my lack of knowledge to a place where i not only accept myself, just as i am, but have come to love that person. it is so ironic that i tell the men i sponsor that they need to find the ways and means to value themselves, when for so long i did not value, esteem, respect or even liked myself.
one of the great things about working from zero is that every day is yet another opportunity to uncover what i am all about. i would love to say that i have reached a point where i know exactly who i am, what skills i possess and what i think about my purpose and my place in the world. what i do know is that i still have a lot to learn about what makes me tick. 🤔
moving on, it is time for me to post this little ditty and get back to work. i still have my job to save and stuff to do to prove i am worth being kept on after the first of the year. i am worth doing what it takes to be a valued member of my team and will continue to make whatever changes i need to make to my work ethic and knowledge about how things work in the world of cable TV. it is a good day to acknowledge my worth, at least to myself.

∞ DT ∞