Blog entry for:

is probably not something i need to do in plain sight on the interwebs, but it is certainly one of those compare and contrast exercises that can start here and move into my conscious consideration as the day wears on and i get moving. speaking of moving, i moved out of my desk at work yesterday and have started my mostly work from home regime. when i consider the haphazard and seemingly random manner the company is moving people around, i really wonder if my insanity was really that bad in active addiction. based of the current plan i will be working two floors below my co-workers, so what would be the point in commuting, when i could work from home, just as alone as in the office. the nugget of a silver lining in this, is my boss agrees and his boss is om=n a similar page, specifically: work from home until the dust settles.
as i take a peek at my current level of insanity, i can see that i am doing what i need to do to keep my job and at the same time, seek a new one. i may not have been Amazon material, but dang it i learned a whole lot during my prep work for that “audition.” i do not go to bed each and every night praying to win the lottery or wishing ill on all those who may have stepped on my toes, figuratively., over the course of the day. i do not expect to lose my belly fat and enjoy ice cream 🍨, without physical effort. most of all i do not see recovery as some sort of magical process 🧙 that i have yet to understand. the fact that i do not known “why” or “how” it works, does not preclude me from working a program anyhow. what i know after a minute clean, that my chances of dying from sheer stupidity have been diminished. unlike my friend who is on his way back to being a ward of the state, i get that if i cannot accept the consequences of my behavior, i can decide to change course. while it may be true that no one is watching me, getting away with something, as thrilling as it may be, has all sorts of consequences that are no longer acceptable to me.
as i take over first place in my Fantasy league and regret less and less every day my imminent departure from FaceBook, i can feel less insane about seeking out acceptance and approval. not seeing who liked my last post is far less disturbing to me, than i ever thought it might be. the truth is i will probably not entirely vacate that platform, but i will certainly continue to limit my activity on it. once again, a move in a less insane direction. so i guess iot is probably time to post this little ditty, where i have no clue who is or is not reading it, and get out to take my tour du quartier just for today.

∞ DT ∞