Blog entry for:

bond of solidarity by part of a fellowship and supporting it through contributions of my time, money and just being there. i have to admit, must to my chagrin, that i have not always been one of those who is a force for unity and solidarity. in fact, at times in my recovery, i have been one of the most vocally outraged members who advocated anything but consensus and unity. that opposition has not always put me on the wrong side of issues, but even when i was totally and unequivocally correct, i did damage, which i do regret. as i work to foster unity in the fellowship that gave me this manner of living, i see that my opinions are no more or less valuable than those of my peers. i also see that i do not need to game the system and act in any manner to keep my “vision” alive, even when i am the only one who can see it. manipulation and game-playing, which i am quite good at, is not a set of behaviors i choose to exercise, anymore.
which brings me to the dilemma i wrote about yesterday, this morning, as i sit here, i can see that the needs of the one, at least in this case, outweigh the needs of the many. looking at my motives and desires, i can see this morning that cutting off contact with someone, just so i can enhance my status as “THE H&I GUY,” was not grounded in any sort of spiritual foundation. in fact, it was all about getting even and looking good and that is a weight i do not wish to carry. how exactly does this decision fit into the topic of fomenting solidarity? by choosing to maintain contact with a member who may never return to the fellowship, at least i can provide him an opening to return. by reaching out my hand, i am reaching out for the fellowship on which my recovery depends. it only took four days to arrive at this conclusion, but this morning, i am certain is exactly the next correct thing to do.
i truly am tiring of this colder than average winter i have been subjected to, for far too long. not onmly that, but the sunlight i love has now been stripped from the early mornings, due to a consortium of commercial enterprises who have convinced those in power that what is good for their bottom lines, must be good for society in general, regardless of what the science may indicate. living in times where some may believe that the Earth is flat, i should be used to those who ignore any semblance of caring what science has to say. i do not know where this sort of idiocy comes from, but i do know that for me, this change to daylight savings time, sucks big … 'nuff said. on that cheery note, i guess it is time for me to get dressed out and start my day with a vigorous work-out, regardless of how “light” it is not.

∞ DT ∞