👐 the bonds i 🤝
Posted: Thu, Mar 13, 2025 07:02:17 AM
share with other recovering addicts are unique; although i have addiction and recovery in common, for the most part, very little else that connects us. at least that was what it was like, back in those dark days of mere abstinence and early recovery. now that i have found a place in a fellowship that allows me the freedom to be who i am, rather than who i “need” to be, i know there is more that connects me to my peers. what was once sufficient and necessary for me to belong, has become so much more. i now have the shared experience of making a life, clean and out from under the shadows of addiction.
while speaking with one of the men that call me their sponsor last night, i was reminded of the phase of my recovery, where life became boring and mundane. nothing was exciting or good enough for me. i was frustrated and wondered if i had reached the spot where it was as good as it was going to get. i remember that my sponse at that time made a few suggestions to seek out the activities that used to be part of my life. for me, that would have been white-water rafting, but the huge drawback was those with whom i played, also used. i knew i could not trust myself to come back clean after a weekend jaunt down the river. i could see the danger of relapse in those early days, so i accepted that my boredom would pass and i could and would find another way to make my life better. that “better” way ended up doing stuff with my peers, leaving behind those playgrounds and playthings associated with using. 😢
serving my fellowship, took over my life and it took me fifteen years to uncover some of the activities for which i have a passion. i do love hiking and seeing the world from the summit of the highest of the peaks in my local backyard. when i finally can retire, i plan on making that activity part of a weekly routine, if i am physically capable of doing so. in the meantime however, i will let those who ask me for guidance to seek out what they have a passion for and just do it. i can say from my experience that my “life is boring and mundane” phase did pass, once i decided to accept that life was neither, i was just clean and experiencing life without the thrill of getting and being high. what i offer today is a sense of hope that things can get better, as they did for me as well as for my peers, who decided that no matter what they were going to stay clean, just for today.
while speaking with one of the men that call me their sponsor last night, i was reminded of the phase of my recovery, where life became boring and mundane. nothing was exciting or good enough for me. i was frustrated and wondered if i had reached the spot where it was as good as it was going to get. i remember that my sponse at that time made a few suggestions to seek out the activities that used to be part of my life. for me, that would have been white-water rafting, but the huge drawback was those with whom i played, also used. i knew i could not trust myself to come back clean after a weekend jaunt down the river. i could see the danger of relapse in those early days, so i accepted that my boredom would pass and i could and would find another way to make my life better. that “better” way ended up doing stuff with my peers, leaving behind those playgrounds and playthings associated with using. 😢
serving my fellowship, took over my life and it took me fifteen years to uncover some of the activities for which i have a passion. i do love hiking and seeing the world from the summit of the highest of the peaks in my local backyard. when i finally can retire, i plan on making that activity part of a weekly routine, if i am physically capable of doing so. in the meantime however, i will let those who ask me for guidance to seek out what they have a passion for and just do it. i can say from my experience that my “life is boring and mundane” phase did pass, once i decided to accept that life was neither, i was just clean and experiencing life without the thrill of getting and being high. what i offer today is a sense of hope that things can get better, as they did for me as well as for my peers, who decided that no matter what they were going to stay clean, just for today.
∞ DT ∞