Blog entry for:

was not part of what i seem to be hard-wired to do. in fact, i have always been an insular, judgemental and dismissive person when it comes to others and getting to know them. this worked well, way back when i believed it was my job to be the defender of the faith and teach the heretics and infidels, what this fellowship was and what they were “required” to share. thankfully, as i grew in my recovery and became more certain of who i was not, that phase became history and i learned to accept others, exactly as they are, when they come to the fellowship.
all of that is a preface to a task i need to do next week, specifically let a newcomer know that the group and its members deserve and are entitled to his respect. if he cannot respect us and our ways, perhaps he should choose to go elsewhere. i knew that after his first appearance at our group, that this day would come, even though i hoped he would “see the light” and become part of us, or at least respect and honor us. having this task on my heart, really fucked up my running this morning, as i kept coming back to how i could be loving kind and gentle when asking someone to look at themselves and see how they are placing themselves above the rest of the members of the group. this will be an awkward conversation, but if i carry my HIGHER POWER with me, i will survive and not destroy someone in the process.
moving into the right now, i think it is time to let go of what may happen in six days and stop planning an outcome. i can enjoy my lunch, finish my laundry, spend some time with a sponsee and listen to his step work, perhaps catch a win by the home team and certainly enjoy a cigar or two, this afternoon. it is certainly a good day to accept myself for who i am right now and accept others as they are. life i too short for me to carry around a shitload of judgements about others, unless of course the are dyed in the wool MAGAts and then…

∞ DT ∞