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that align with my values and beliefs, does not mean forcing my flavor of spirituality down the throats of anyone else. that is certainly a great start to screed where i go all in on a the minority of conservative folks who believe that the US is a “Christian” and needs to return to its roots. well i have a bit of news for those folks, IF the founding fathers had believed that the nation a religious foundation, they would have never approved the first amendment to to US constitution that states: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion…” i could continue down that path, but whining about a very loud and vocal minority are screeching about, is not a very serene manner in which to start my day. let me say this, i will fight tooth and nail to prevent those folks from establishing any d=sort of Christian Nationalist state.
i am so opposed to any sort of forced spirituality, that i do not even broach the subject of mine, with the who call me their sponsor until they are well past the THIRD STEP. my FEAR in doing it any sooner is that they will attempt to “please” me, by imitating or adopting my notions of a spiritual path. i want then to think for themselves and if that means a bit of struggle, my experience over the fifteen years that i struggled coming to terms with the HIGHER POWER concept, was that is was not only sufficient, but also necessary for me to go through, to find my place in the universe of spiritual choice.
i can also state for the record, that when it comes to my niece, my behaviors have not matched my values or beliefs. i have been full of expectations, which of course she could not fulfill, which meant that i was constantly angry and resentful towards her, and let her know how much she failed, day after day, in no uncertain terms. she is a using addict that lives in a bubble world colored by the notion that everything will work out, even if she does nothing to move forward. as sad as that may sound, it gets even worse, as deadlines approach. i know the feeling, as that was once my reality, not quite to the same extent, but certainly not far off the mark. as i moved into forgiving myself and my Mom, i became softer towards my niece and realized that keeping my distance was the best policy. the end result is that she has to be moved on down the road in three days and i have to allow myself the freedom to believe that she will accomplish that task, even if it means she will be sleeping with her dog, all her stuff in my dead Mom's car. she has made that choice, or better put she decided to allow events and circumstances to choose for her, then as she is shivering in the cold, she can blame it on a cruel and heartless world. been there, done that, got several T-shirts.
just for today, i vcan be okay and allow her to do what she will, as i am powerless over using addicts and the latest manifestation of their addiction. i am powerless over my own addiction and even though one of the men attending the meeting last night believed that i was no longer “addicted” i know the truth: IT IS ONLY THROUGH THE POWER THAT FUELS MY RECOVERY that i have another day ahead of me, where i choose to live in active recovery, Just for Today.

∞ DT ∞