๐ the rewards, ๐
Posted: Tue, Apr 29, 2025 06:49:00 AM
when i show up willing and open-minded, can be far greater than my efforts. when one is as cynical as myself, one does not believe their is anything at all to the notion of altruism. the only exception that may be made, are those who are truly saintlike in their living, which precludes myself from the get go, as i have never been, although i often played one, a saint in any sense of the word. just because i “get” a reward for serving my fellowship, my family and my community, does not mean that my effort is diminished at all. i happen to believe that self-interest is always, in some small part, at the root of my decision to be open-minded and willing to serve. even in this less than stellar context, my self-interest may just boil down to staying clean for just one more day.
moving into the here and now, there are times when i get angry and all sorts of put out, when i am asked to serve, or even meet my commitment to serve. there is a sad fact of life, that i have witnessed in just about every organization i have been a part of, that eighty percent of the work is done by less than twenty percent of the members. it does not matter if the body is fellowship or community based, that rule of thumb seems to apply. i, could of course, cast all sorts of judgements on those members who choose not to step up to the plate and do more than occupy space, but to what end? it would not make me feel better about myself, as it once might have done. nor would that sort of behavior enhance the satisfaction i get, because i am of service. in the end, i would grow even more tired and resentful, rather than feeling grateful that i had the opportunity to serve and accepted it.
this morning, as i prepare to post this little ditty and get out for my training run, i am struck by the fact that recognition of what i do, in the eyes of others, has finally taken a backseat to the feeling of satisfaction i get, when i do the next right thing, expecting nothing in return. got to admit, being seen is great, no doubt about it. feeling seen is also great. i do not however, require being seen to feel good about myself or to continue to gratefully serve when i am called to do so, just for today.
moving into the here and now, there are times when i get angry and all sorts of put out, when i am asked to serve, or even meet my commitment to serve. there is a sad fact of life, that i have witnessed in just about every organization i have been a part of, that eighty percent of the work is done by less than twenty percent of the members. it does not matter if the body is fellowship or community based, that rule of thumb seems to apply. i, could of course, cast all sorts of judgements on those members who choose not to step up to the plate and do more than occupy space, but to what end? it would not make me feel better about myself, as it once might have done. nor would that sort of behavior enhance the satisfaction i get, because i am of service. in the end, i would grow even more tired and resentful, rather than feeling grateful that i had the opportunity to serve and accepted it.
this morning, as i prepare to post this little ditty and get out for my training run, i am struck by the fact that recognition of what i do, in the eyes of others, has finally taken a backseat to the feeling of satisfaction i get, when i do the next right thing, expecting nothing in return. got to admit, being seen is great, no doubt about it. feeling seen is also great. i do not however, require being seen to feel good about myself or to continue to gratefully serve when i am called to do so, just for today.
∞ DT ∞