Blog entry for:
Tue, Oct 1, 2024 09:30:17 AM
🤬 how dare 🤬
posted: Tue, Oct 1, 2024 09:30:17 AM
anyone mess with my serenity?! to tell the truth i came into recovery as a very reactive person. no matter how hard i tried to get kicked out of the rooms, those members who were already here, responded to my anger, cynicism and sarcasm with a huge dose of compassion and caring. that shit pissed me off more, how dare they treat me well, when all i want to do, is to fulfill my self-fulfilling prophecy of not being a part of any recovery community. the lesson i took away from that was to try harder, as everyone has a limit. by the time i realized that was probably not going to work, i found myself finally having the desire to get what they had.
although i am much better than that today, i did take issue with the headline of my source material and had to change it to “Responding with Compassion,” to remind myself anyhow, that i no longer need to react and i can take a minute to pause and develop a response, that hopefully encompasses a few spiritual principles, such as compassion, kindness and caring.
i am currently without an official sponsor, as i had the conversation with my old sponsor yesterday and i do not have a conversation until Saturday with my new one. i am quite certain i will not go off the deep end in the next few days, although the events i have planned will certainly mess with the balance and serenity that i have built into my life. the fact of the matter is, i have at least two men i can call if i get nutz and the world feels as if it is crashing in on me. the conversation with Carlos was not as bad as i built it up to be, in my own head. i knew that was going to be the case, but when it comes to relationships, i am still a novice, even with a couple of decades of clean time under my belt. this morning, twelve or so hours later i am in a good place, confident in my decision and ready to move forward. i now have a few days to contemplate my new assignment and hopefully the POWER that fuels my recovery, will allow me the opportunity to see where i need to go, as i embark on this new fork in my recovery road.
although i am much better than that today, i did take issue with the headline of my source material and had to change it to “Responding with Compassion,” to remind myself anyhow, that i no longer need to react and i can take a minute to pause and develop a response, that hopefully encompasses a few spiritual principles, such as compassion, kindness and caring.
i am currently without an official sponsor, as i had the conversation with my old sponsor yesterday and i do not have a conversation until Saturday with my new one. i am quite certain i will not go off the deep end in the next few days, although the events i have planned will certainly mess with the balance and serenity that i have built into my life. the fact of the matter is, i have at least two men i can call if i get nutz and the world feels as if it is crashing in on me. the conversation with Carlos was not as bad as i built it up to be, in my own head. i knew that was going to be the case, but when it comes to relationships, i am still a novice, even with a couple of decades of clean time under my belt. this morning, twelve or so hours later i am in a good place, confident in my decision and ready to move forward. i now have a few days to contemplate my new assignment and hopefully the POWER that fuels my recovery, will allow me the opportunity to see where i need to go, as i embark on this new fork in my recovery road.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
2) The report of that fulfilment is the regular, unchanging rule.
To know that unchanging rule is to be intelligent; not to know it
leads to wild movements and evil issues. The knowledge of that unchanging
rule produces a (grand) capacity and forbearance, and that capacity
and forbearance lead to a community (of feeling with all things).
From this community of feeling comes a kingliness of character; and
he who is king-like goes on to be heaven-like. In that likeness to
heaven he possesses the Tao. Possessed of the Tao, he endures long;
and to the end of his bodily life, is exempt from all danger of decay.