Blog entry for:

as part of living the human condition, has never been easy for me and still is not after a minute clean. this morning as i dove into the well of the void, i began to glimpse at what pain has done for me across the course of my life. after all, if it was not for the pain of living a lie, i would have never found the relief that using mass quantities of drugs brought to me. not that the lie made me an addict, that i have come to believe was always part of who i am. no, relieving the pain of being “different” and “broken,” led me down the path that eventually brought me to where i am today, working on the task of becoming, whole, genuine and self-assured.
this morning, i am cool, calm and collected. i know what i am dealing with, lots of folks vying for attention when none of them really need to be the center of anything. i am quite certain that behavior will continue this evening, but it is not my place to judge or be critical, my place is to be present for the bride, give her all my attention and share in the joy of her day, just for today.

∞ DT ∞