๐ง the challenges ๐ง
Posted: Sat, Mar 29, 2025 09:12:54 AM
of life are a little less intimidating when i allow hope to shape my view of the world. i have to admit, that the word hope is a tricky one for me, as i have written about more than once in the less than distant past. suffice it to say, that i allow myself to confuse hope and wishful thinking and as a result, attempt to live in a space where i go to neither. this morning, however, i understand what i heard, that if i allow myself to see the world through the lens of FEAR, i will withdraw and isolate. countering FEAR with a little bit of HOPE, that things will work out, whether they work out in the manner i desire or not, makes life a bit easier to walk though, on a daily basis.
i also will not write about my yet to be written SECOND STEP, this morning, as i have gone on and on about not doing the work that i HOPE will begin the process of restoring me to some sort of sanity. what i will, however, expound upon is my relationship with one of my closed-mouth friends. time and again, he complains about spinning about stuff that really is not all that important. i know the feeling of inflating stuff way out of proportion and every time my friend starts to go down that path, i cringe inside, grit my teeth and allow him the freedom to do so. i am sort of grateful that his vacation will allow me the space i need to process my feelings and decide where i need to allow this relationship to go. i will have the time and space to evaluate myself and more than likely be deep into my THIRD STEP, by the time he returns.
with all of that in mind, it is time to get headed over to Boulder to be a part of my home group. i am certain that i can find a modicum of HOPE to fill my days and nights. i am also hopeful that i can see my irrational fears for what they are and use the skills i have acquired in recovery, to put them into their proper place, just for today.
i also will not write about my yet to be written SECOND STEP, this morning, as i have gone on and on about not doing the work that i HOPE will begin the process of restoring me to some sort of sanity. what i will, however, expound upon is my relationship with one of my closed-mouth friends. time and again, he complains about spinning about stuff that really is not all that important. i know the feeling of inflating stuff way out of proportion and every time my friend starts to go down that path, i cringe inside, grit my teeth and allow him the freedom to do so. i am sort of grateful that his vacation will allow me the space i need to process my feelings and decide where i need to allow this relationship to go. i will have the time and space to evaluate myself and more than likely be deep into my THIRD STEP, by the time he returns.
with all of that in mind, it is time to get headed over to Boulder to be a part of my home group. i am certain that i can find a modicum of HOPE to fill my days and nights. i am also hopeful that i can see my irrational fears for what they are and use the skills i have acquired in recovery, to put them into their proper place, just for today.
∞ DT ∞