Some memes

what i have going on, i have to remember that my first priority must be to stay clean or i risk losing more than just my clean time. these days, i do not have a whole lot of stuff going on. as i move with a glacial pace towards writing my FOURTH STEP i do not feel and sense of urgency or fear. i missed meetings for two weeks and my life did not fall apart. even when i was sickish i worked out and sold cigars. on the surface that appears that i am doing enough in my personal program of daily recovery to sustain myself. if one were to dive deeper, one might find a bit of a spiritual discomfort that may be addressed, even if has yet to raise its ugly head. that beats, lurking in the depths is what may be the thing that has taken my peers with significant clean time, out of the rooms.
when i consider my life today, there is balance. yes next week is too many days at the shop, but i can survive a work week with more hours than i desire and not complain. i am, actually kind of grateful to even get some hours out of the house being paid to be productive. That extra day of work does not feel burdensome to me, at least from the vantage point. i will see how i feel next week.
today, i am going to make a choice between getting out and about and smoke at the shop or stay home and smoke and work on my novel. i am leaning towards getting out and away from a computer, but i have yet to arrive at that decision. i know the next thing i am going to do this morning, is to walk to dog and then run for at least forty-six minutes. i decided to follow the suggestions of my fitness tracker until the end of May, which is today. tomorrow, well i will cross that bridge when it comes. i am doing okay and i feel like my life is in balance. in balance today means weighing my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs and ensuring that i am meeting all of them to the best of my ability, just for today.

∞ DT ∞