😌 as i learn to 😌
Posted: Thu, Oct 22, 2026 10:00:05 AM
trust the process, my burden of having to be right all the time is being reduced. one might ask what process and i would answer the process of recovery that has become my life. my source mentions GOD as a driving force, but as i have said many time before, the direction i get to live my life comes from the events and people the people i encounter as i walk through my daily life. being present for those opportunities for clarity and direction was not something i just woke up with one day. i had to learn to be mindful and it was not until i left the Western version of a HIGHER POWER behind that it finally took root. being mindful came as part of my second SEVENTH STEP when my sponsor asked me if i was really living in the present tense. that seed has grown to the place today where i am more than just aware of what is going on around me, i also have a clue or two what is going on inside of me.
in fact, this morning all i could see, until i finally got out of the house and into the world was the dark side. i wanted to change the seed of my source material. i was judgemental to the max as i did my workout and saw more than one driver violating traffic regulations by driving on the wrong side of the road, to save a few minutes of waiting in line and i did not feel like i worked “hard enough” on my morning walk. yes the “assholes in my mind” were generated ad infinitum. i can assign causes or seek motives for why my attitude was so dark today, but to what end? i slept well, i heard the quiet, i got my hour of no human interaction and yet i still had the cloud over my day. what i know now that i am out of the house is that whatever the cause, i have reset my day and am willing to walk forward into a better attitude.
what started off my day was the notion of finding humility through unity. that felt backwards to me and that was the first crack in my early morning. what i took with me into the void was creating unity through humility. IMHO when i allow myself to state my conscience and accept the opinions of others, to come to a solution we all can accept, i am contributing to unity. i have experience in service, carrying the message and seeing the consequences of self-willed solutions, mine and those of my peers. knowing that and asserting that i have the CORRECT solution are two different things. it is not all about ego, although ego may play a part in it. as i unpack this, what i am coming to realize is that my interaction yesterday with me “traditions sponsee” h=kept spinning back to his ego and how it affected those around him. one notion that i have resisted since the beginning of my recovery was that my ego has to be “smashed” or right-sized if this recovery gig is going to work. what i have come to see is that my ego did not require anything more than a new perspective and part of that perspective is that i do not always have to be right!
in fact, this morning all i could see, until i finally got out of the house and into the world was the dark side. i wanted to change the seed of my source material. i was judgemental to the max as i did my workout and saw more than one driver violating traffic regulations by driving on the wrong side of the road, to save a few minutes of waiting in line and i did not feel like i worked “hard enough” on my morning walk. yes the “assholes in my mind” were generated ad infinitum. i can assign causes or seek motives for why my attitude was so dark today, but to what end? i slept well, i heard the quiet, i got my hour of no human interaction and yet i still had the cloud over my day. what i know now that i am out of the house is that whatever the cause, i have reset my day and am willing to walk forward into a better attitude.
what started off my day was the notion of finding humility through unity. that felt backwards to me and that was the first crack in my early morning. what i took with me into the void was creating unity through humility. IMHO when i allow myself to state my conscience and accept the opinions of others, to come to a solution we all can accept, i am contributing to unity. i have experience in service, carrying the message and seeing the consequences of self-willed solutions, mine and those of my peers. knowing that and asserting that i have the CORRECT solution are two different things. it is not all about ego, although ego may play a part in it. as i unpack this, what i am coming to realize is that my interaction yesterday with me “traditions sponsee” h=kept spinning back to his ego and how it affected those around him. one notion that i have resisted since the beginning of my recovery was that my ego has to be “smashed” or right-sized if this recovery gig is going to work. what i have come to see is that my ego did not require anything more than a new perspective and part of that perspective is that i do not always have to be right!
∞ DT ∞