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a perfect **seed** to start an entire blog about how much of a victim i am, after all IF i have an incurable disease, than i might as well pack it up and call it quits. while that is certainly true, for this addict, i have found that **malady** very treatable. i started work a bit early, because something that was once automatic, no longer runs as my client expects, so i had to walk two of my team mates through taking care of my stuff, to keep the customer satisfied. of course, it has failed multiple times during my attempts to run the process, so i GET to pound this out, before heading out to get some steps in. it appears that the weather in the early AM will no longer be conducive to working out, so like the failing jobs at work, i may need to find a new “home” for my workout. so i could quite easily allow myself to stop taking care of my physical self and “blame” getting less fit on the changing seasons. yes i “could” but why would i choose top give up my personal power over choosing to be a bit more fit?
i hear this a lot when i listen to my peers. they do not like how the literature uses pronouns, so they go though great lengths with often comical results, to read the readings, to make themselves a bit more comfortable, instead of accepting things as they are and letting go of the hold that particular part of speech has over them. they allow themselves to become victims to language written ninety years ago. i have been a similar situation when i took offense at having to read the word GOD out loud, from those same readings and the results were as comical then, as they are today. once i accepted that the word GOD was just that and saying it out loud did not mean that word adequately described the nature of the POWER that fuels my recovery, i regained the power i had chosen to give away, even though i did not realize i had given it away.
there is one certain fact in my life, i am an addict and i hold no power over addiction. that does not mean i have to allow the “voice” of the part of me that bi call addiction to rule my life, been there, done that, got the T-shirt. i can certainly surrender to that fact and allow the POWER that fuels my recovery to keep me clean. owning that little bit of power, is a good thing. taking responsibility for living a program of active recovery, is another way i can hold on to some personal power. as i told one of the men i sponsor, last night, when i am presented with a choice between one or more explanations, i apply the principle of Occam's Razor, bowing to the notion that the simplest explanation is most often the correct one. i can rant and rail about how unfair life is, because i am an addict and addiction is incurable. i can attempt, as many of my peers seem to do, to get to the “root cause” of “why” i am an addict, trying out all sorts of theories. or take the simpler path, accept that is who i am and do something to live more comfortably in this world, using the experience of my peers as my guide to doing the next right thing, just for today.

∞ DT ∞