โ some times it is difficult to stay in the moment. โ
Posted: Mon, Feb 12, 2007 07:51:46 AM
it seems as though my mind will not stop.
that is especially true for me over the past couple of weeks. my life is changing and moving forward at warp speed warp ninety-seven to be exact and i can here the Scottish engineer complaining how the ship cannot take it.
be that as it may, i am also locked in my past after preparing to do my fifth step twice over the past week. i did not think that this was something that was affecting me, but last night, at my very regular meeting, i felt dirty and different. i know i am not different and not dirty, nevertheless i felt that way. so i am rescheduled for today, and i will see what today brings.
so here i am locked in the past, projecting into the future and totally incapable of feeling and being right here, right now. just like someone fresh to recovery, i feel as .... i will let you guys complete that statement and i will go do some work, make some calls and let the day happen as it may. i cannot see past the moment in reality nor can i change my past, and what i am feeling is just what ever addict feels from time to time in their recovery, a tad overwhelmed by the events of living, and more than a bit of regret about how i lived in the past.
so off to the races with my racing mind. life is way too short to be fretting about these silly issue today!
that is especially true for me over the past couple of weeks. my life is changing and moving forward at warp speed warp ninety-seven to be exact and i can here the Scottish engineer complaining how the ship cannot take it.
be that as it may, i am also locked in my past after preparing to do my fifth step twice over the past week. i did not think that this was something that was affecting me, but last night, at my very regular meeting, i felt dirty and different. i know i am not different and not dirty, nevertheless i felt that way. so i am rescheduled for today, and i will see what today brings.
so here i am locked in the past, projecting into the future and totally incapable of feeling and being right here, right now. just like someone fresh to recovery, i feel as .... i will let you guys complete that statement and i will go do some work, make some calls and let the day happen as it may. i cannot see past the moment in reality nor can i change my past, and what i am feeling is just what ever addict feels from time to time in their recovery, a tad overwhelmed by the events of living, and more than a bit of regret about how i lived in the past.
so off to the races with my racing mind. life is way too short to be fretting about these silly issue today!
∞ DT ∞