โ staying clean is easier when i have someone who believes in me even when โ
Posted: Thu, Jun 7, 2007 12:30:26 PM
i do not believe in myself.
although this reading seems to be saying that relapse is an option, and that even i if relapse, i can get and stay clean if i have someone who happens to believe in me. this is a tough reading for me to understand, as i was one of the lucky ones, who have yet to relapse since finding recovery. that is not to say that i walked into the rooms and got it from the very start. no way, i was way too different way back when and it took me seven months from my first meeting until i became ready to do this whole recovery thing. so looking at it from that point of view, i was a chronic relapser for those seven months or not. i really did not want to get clean and even after i found recovery, or should i say the desire to recover, i was dead certain that after a certain event had passed i would use for sure. that event has come and gone, and i am still clean.
so for me the reading seems to put the shoe on the other foot, i am the one who believes in more than one struggling addict, who is trying to find recovery. that role is sometimes a tough one, because some days it seems that no matter how much support and love i can give, they still decide to relapse. so for me i just need to remember that i am no one to judge another’s effort, sincerity or desire. i am just another addict trying to do my best to face life and recover. that is enough of a role on a daily basis. even in that seemingly reduced role, i can still believe insomeone until they can believe in themselves. so off to the salt mines to earn my living today.
although this reading seems to be saying that relapse is an option, and that even i if relapse, i can get and stay clean if i have someone who happens to believe in me. this is a tough reading for me to understand, as i was one of the lucky ones, who have yet to relapse since finding recovery. that is not to say that i walked into the rooms and got it from the very start. no way, i was way too different way back when and it took me seven months from my first meeting until i became ready to do this whole recovery thing. so looking at it from that point of view, i was a chronic relapser for those seven months or not. i really did not want to get clean and even after i found recovery, or should i say the desire to recover, i was dead certain that after a certain event had passed i would use for sure. that event has come and gone, and i am still clean.
so for me the reading seems to put the shoe on the other foot, i am the one who believes in more than one struggling addict, who is trying to find recovery. that role is sometimes a tough one, because some days it seems that no matter how much support and love i can give, they still decide to relapse. so for me i just need to remember that i am no one to judge another’s effort, sincerity or desire. i am just another addict trying to do my best to face life and recover. that is enough of a role on a daily basis. even in that seemingly reduced role, i can still believe insomeone until they can believe in themselves. so off to the salt mines to earn my living today.
∞ DT ∞