β finding someone to believe in me β
Posted: Tue, Jun 7, 2005 05:22:52 AM
...and wants to help me in my recovery...
foreign as this concept was once to me, i know today that i have many ‘someones’ that believe in me. my only problem is translating their belief into my own belief system. the part of me that is my disease uses evidence of past and current missteps as a tool to degrade me and undermine my self-assurance. after all, if i was really doing all the things that i have been doing to the best of my ability, i would be better now. i would have eliminated the self-doubt and self-abasement that i am so familiar with. i would be behaving in a spiritual manner in all of my affairs and been long past acting out on the shortcomings that arise from my character defects. even as i type this, right now, i can see the lie for what it it is, just another in the long chain of lies that i have developed over my life. the truth is that i am becoming more than i ever was and that GOD and the many others with whom i share my life also believe in me. who am i to doubt their beliefs? i am just another addict in recovery doing my best to stay clean, the time has come for me to let go of the insanity that i am not becoming anything more and allow GOD to do the work needed to restore me to a state of sanity.
∞ DT ∞
foreign as this concept was once to me, i know today that i have many ‘someones’ that believe in me. my only problem is translating their belief into my own belief system. the part of me that is my disease uses evidence of past and current missteps as a tool to degrade me and undermine my self-assurance. after all, if i was really doing all the things that i have been doing to the best of my ability, i would be better now. i would have eliminated the self-doubt and self-abasement that i am so familiar with. i would be behaving in a spiritual manner in all of my affairs and been long past acting out on the shortcomings that arise from my character defects. even as i type this, right now, i can see the lie for what it it is, just another in the long chain of lies that i have developed over my life. the truth is that i am becoming more than i ever was and that GOD and the many others with whom i share my life also believe in me. who am i to doubt their beliefs? i am just another addict in recovery doing my best to stay clean, the time has come for me to let go of the insanity that i am not becoming anything more and allow GOD to do the work needed to restore me to a state of sanity.
∞ DT ∞