Blog entry for:
Tue, Jun 7, 2005 05:22:52 AM
∞ finding someone to believe in me ∞
posted: Tue, Jun 7, 2005 05:22:52 AM
...and wants to help me in my recovery...
foreign as this concept was once to me, i know today that i have many ‘someones’ that believe in me. my only problem is translating their belief into my own belief system. the part of me that is my disease uses evidence of past and current missteps as a tool to degrade me and undermine my self-assurance. after all, if i was really doing all the things that i have been doing to the best of my ability, i would be better now. i would have eliminated the self-doubt and self-abasement that i am so familiar with. i would be behaving in a spiritual manner in all of my affairs and been long past acting out on the shortcomings that arise from my character defects. even as i type this, right now, i can see the lie for what it it is, just another in the long chain of lies that i have developed over my life. the truth is that i am becoming more than i ever was and that GOD and the many others with whom i share my life also believe in me. who am i to doubt their beliefs? i am just another addict in recovery doing my best to stay clean, the time has come for me to let go of the insanity that i am not becoming anything more and allow GOD to do the work needed to restore me to a state of sanity.
∞ DT ∞
foreign as this concept was once to me, i know today that i have many ‘someones’ that believe in me. my only problem is translating their belief into my own belief system. the part of me that is my disease uses evidence of past and current missteps as a tool to degrade me and undermine my self-assurance. after all, if i was really doing all the things that i have been doing to the best of my ability, i would be better now. i would have eliminated the self-doubt and self-abasement that i am so familiar with. i would be behaving in a spiritual manner in all of my affairs and been long past acting out on the shortcomings that arise from my character defects. even as i type this, right now, i can see the lie for what it it is, just another in the long chain of lies that i have developed over my life. the truth is that i am becoming more than i ever was and that GOD and the many others with whom i share my life also believe in me. who am i to doubt their beliefs? i am just another addict in recovery doing my best to stay clean, the time has come for me to let go of the insanity that i am not becoming anything more and allow GOD to do the work needed to restore me to a state of sanity.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
∞ i need someone who believes in me, ∞ 411 words ➥ Wednesday, June 7, 2006 by: donnot↔ staying clean is easier when i have someone who believes in me even when ↔ 331 words ➥ Thursday, June 7, 2007 by: donnot
α i did not arrive in this fellowship and automatically stay clean. ω 510 words ➥ Saturday, June 7, 2008 by: donnot
∞ it was hard for me to believe in myself, when i was struggling to get clean ∞ 489 words ➥ Sunday, June 7, 2009 by: donnot
∧ i kept coming back, and i found in the fellowship the support i need for my recovery ∧ 757 words ➥ Monday, June 7, 2010 by: donnot
¹ just for today, i will have faith THAT someone believes in me ¹ 564 words ➥ Tuesday, June 7, 2011 by: donnot
< even the most frequent relapser usually has one > 636 words ➥ Thursday, June 7, 2012 by: donnot
≈ sometimes it is hard for me to believe in myself ≈ 578 words ➥ Friday, June 7, 2013 by: donnot
♥ when i love another addict unconditionally, :♥ 908 words ➥ Saturday, June 7, 2014 by: donnot
∅ not all who arrive ∅ 588 words ➥ Sunday, June 7, 2015 by: donnot
⊶ someone, anyone, ⊷ 480 words ➥ Tuesday, June 7, 2016 by: donnot
✆ and wants to ☎ 747 words ➥ Wednesday, June 7, 2017 by: donnot
🔰 getting clean 📈 581 words ➥ Thursday, June 7, 2018 by: donnot
🍀 offering my support 🍀 182 words ➥ Friday, June 7, 2019 by: donnot
🌼 having faith 🌼 408 words ➥ Sunday, June 7, 2020 by: donnot
🌅 believing in myself 🌅 265 words ➥ Monday, June 7, 2021 by: donnot
😕 i can feel 😞 337 words ➥ Tuesday, June 7, 2022 by: donnot
😵 maintaining 😵 632 words ➥ Wednesday, June 7, 2023 by: donnot
😎 banging my head 😎 538 words ➥ Friday, June 7, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
1) To know and yet (think) we do not know is the highest (attainment);
not to know (and yet think) we do know is a disease.