Blog entry for:

an open mind, is one of those topics that can delve in situational ethics for me. i understand that the source material was referring to what i hear from my peers in recovery, especially those who i do not respect or judge are hiding themselves from those who can most help them. IRL, however, keeping an open mind to notions such as Jewish space lasers, that the world might not actually be a globe, or that birds are not real, is quite a different story and between those extremes lies a vast area colored in shades of grey. as i get down to it, it is my intention to clarify my thinking and perhaps challenge a belief or two, that i have held on to quite dearly for probably far too long.
taking the latter first, i have come to the conclusion that many in the world just do not want to think for themselves and prefer to have opinions comfortably digested for them and presented in a manner that is not to dissimilar to the pablum one might feed an infant -- bland, tasteless and certainly without any variation of texture. the media plays into this desire by presenting exactly that to the exact audience they are attempting to influence and their audience accepts a version of the “truth” that matches what the media wants them to believe: ideas that make one uncomfortable should be left unspoken, even if they are true. after all, if the great MAGAt masses actually started thinking for themselves they would see that they are being led to slaughter at the hands of their heroes, by the wealthy and privileged, who want nothing more than to keep the masses enslaved, debt-ridden and ignorant. 😠 😡
i guess it is time to get off my soapbox and get back on topic, developing and maintaining my open mind. as i continue to uncover who i am and grow into the person i might have always wanted to be, discarding my belief that those who share the pablum of slogans, bumper stickers, sunshine and rainbows and clicheés in meetings are lacking in spiritual fortitude. this is one of the most difficult of my beliefs to pitch into the shit can and i am not quite certain what the payoff may be for me. i am starting to think that the payoff is i “get” to continue to isolate myself from my peers, even though my level of social anxiety is falling through the floor, as i become better acquainted with who i really am. it is the part of me i call addiction, fighting the part of me that is tired of living a solitary existence high upon a perch above those who know me the best. it is my p at being “different” from them and the fact that i feel all of this is telling, i am starting to find my way into the fold.
i am pretty sure i will never “buy” the political shit that is being sold on both sides of the aisle. i do not mind being called “woke” as empathy, compassion and equality are values that are part of who i am. i am also pretty sure that i will not dive back into the “sharing for others” paradigm to enhance my standing amongst my peers, as i have been there, done that and found it less than satisfying. i will. more than likely, continue to work on giving up the notion that my peers who choose to share all the sunshine and light and avoid the darkness, have nothing to offer me. they just might provide the nugget of wisdom i require to stay clean, just for today.

∞ DT ∞