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and wants to help me in my recovery. alright a bit of the grammar police, having FAITH in someone or having FAITH THAT someone are two entirely different creatures, and the ambiguity of this particular passage has always seemed discordant to me. as written, it suggests that i have to have FAITH in some unnamed human being. having FAITH in my fellow travelers in this incarnation is to say the least, a bit difficult given the state of the world around me today. having FAITH that someone, anyone, is quite easy, as there is all sorts of evidence supporting that conclusion.
Be Right Back, gotta run, literally that is…
well i am back, after a fast and quick run, and am a bit more clear about what i heard this morning. i do understand why the addicts who wrote the line used ‘in’ rather than ‘that’, and as i am not one to dismiss the conscience of the group who agonized over every single word, i will let it go and read it as it is written. in my recovery and experience, finding that one person to have FAITH in, had been a difficult and daunting task, and one that i did not believe was possible. learning to grow my FAITH period was a difficult task, so to tie such a fragile concept to the imperfections of one human being was way beyond what i was willing to do. so i had to and still have to make an accommodation here. i know what the line says, and what i started this blog off, is how it works for me. it is easy for me to have FAITH that someone believes in me, and i know that today i can have FAITH that several someones believe in me. that accommodation sustains me. when i work with others, especially those for whom the revolving door is constantly turning i let them know that to the best of my ability (there is that loophole again) i DO believe that they can get this and recover.
there are some, who actually have clean time, that i have little belief in that they will get recovery. one of those i had to unfriend ion FaceBook yesterday morning. i did it in a fit of petulant pique, i am sure, but the bloody morning after, i feel like it was a sound decision for me. they are unwilling or incapable of change, and i am unable or incapable of tolerating who they are. this will always be a source of agony and frustration for me, and although i was hopeful that this was a relationship that i could grow back into, i have no FAITH that is even possible anymore. life is too short to fill it with obstinate, vexatious and unpleasant people, and in my opinion that is what i would be doing if i continued to hold out waiting for the change to happen, in either me or them.
so i do have FAITH that someone believes in me, and i do have FAITH IN someone who believes in me this morning, and on that not i will jump in the shower and hit the dusty trail as i have many miles to go and tasks to accomplish today.

∞ DT ∞