Blog entry for:

a Higher Power, not my own power, is the source of the change that begins when i carry the message to a still-suffering addict.
i often want to take credit for the recovery i see when some addict that i have carried the message to starts to really ** GET IT **. so the converse is true, i also want to take the blame when they happen to not ** GET IT **.
so this reading is an excellent reminder that i really have nothing to do with anyone else’s recovery, except that i can carry a message and plant a seed of desire. this morning far from home, i can accept that reality, and the truth is the more time i stay clean, the more i realize that i am a mere messenger. i use the word mere not to minimize my value in that role, but to simplify the often complex manner in which i view my various roles in recovery. carrying the message is the most important piece of service i believe i can do, it is a way of giving back to the fellowship that has given me so much. i often want to think that there is more i can do to carry the message and the notion has crossed my mind more than once to hogtie a recurrent relapser, force a funnel down his throat, and tube feed him a pureé of our literature, to see if i can get him to see the light.
it is probably a good thing that i have never acted-out that particular fantasy, or at least not yet.
so off to replace what i lost in my journeys yesterday, and into the real world of celebrating a wedding anniversary of my aunt and uncle. signing off from the HI-LINE Montana USA!

∞ DT ∞