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and spiritual application of **WE.** when i come across source readings that start with the terms practical and spiritual, i often wonder what the heck they are trying to force down my throat. i know that it is written in the literature of the fellowship that has given me this life, that if something is not practical, it is not spiritual. i accept that was a basic tenet of my ongoing program of active recovery and look to enhance my spiritual side, by taking concrete and yes practical steps. i understand what this source material is attempting to say, but it feels a bit contrived and certainly clunky to me. nevertheless, i think i might have a word or two to put down about the concept of “we.”
i know that when i got clean, i had no desire to be part of this or any fellowship. no matter how welcoming all of the members were, when i got here, it was not for me, as i believed that i could never connect with this group of losers. when i gave up the notion that i would survive my legal consequences by mere abstinence, i still did not think i could be a part of, but i put on the greatest show on Earth, doing my best to disguise who i thought i was and what i thought i was about with the smoke and mirrors of being a recovery zealot and a service junkie. what i got was an identity that was not me and a whole lot more digging to find my way out of the hall of mirrors i had created over the course of my life, to deal with my secret shame. step by step, just for today, i slowly came to see that i did need to be a part of the raucous and often bawdy “we” that is fellowship of peers, locally and world-wide. i know that i “need” the input and guidance of those who live outside of my head, to manage my life in any way, shape or form. i am willing to provide the same to any who ask for my advice and feedback. just as i know that my peers have my back, i have their backs as well. that is the way i have learned to follow and being a part of that “we” means that i do not need to remind everyone, all the time, that is how i live.
i think, before i get on my soapbox about the pronouns my peers use when they share, i will wrap this puppy up and move into my day. life as a part of this “we” is not always easy or serene. i still have to work out the issues i have with some of the personalities that comprise my local fellowship. as i was saying to one of the men i sponsor, i am powerless over how someone behaves and i am powerless over what feelings arise when i witness that behavior. where my power lies, is how i choose to respond to those feelings. the gift of the SEVENTH STEP, is the ability to respond, rather than react and these days i reach that fork in the road, all the time. when i choose to accept my peers for who they are, i remain part of the “we” that makes this fellowship what it is and i get the opportunity to accept and tolerate, that which i never believed was tolerable or acceptable, just for today.

∞ DT ∞