Blog entry for:

driving my recovery, is a whole lot easier for me to feel in myself and others than the idea of GOD. i have struggled with the notion of a personified HIGHER POWER, that has human aspects and attributes, since the very beginning of my recovery. walking towards the spiritual path, i finally arrived on, i had bouts of FAITH and HOPE, but never quite bought into that concept and as a result was living in a sham spiritual life. once i finally arrived where i am today, i saw that idea could fit into my spiritual world, but did not have to make that round peg fit into the square hole that was being offered. as a force, specifically as the POWER that fuels my recovery, i move into each day with the FAITH that i will be provided the opportunity to get exactly what this addict needs to thrive in his recovery. speaking of thriving in recovery:

Kerri T,
Congrats on THIRTEEN (13) years clean!

seeing the power of recovery work in my peers, and i have, makes me wonder why anyone with time in the program would choose to walk away, back into active addiction, living the “life” they had been given, or another fellowship. i know i am somewhat of an outlier in the recovery spectrum, as i turned my obsession to use, into an obsession to stay clean. that obsession has habituated me to a life of recovery, where i do what i need to do, even if it is possible that i could get away with NOT doing for a day or three.
for me, my FAITH is based in living a program and practicing integrity, even when no one is looking. i no longer need to “play to the crowd” even though i am declining to do a climb, for that very reason this weekend. i know i “should” care, but i do and i will accept responsibility for that and move along. as a matter of fact, i do need to move along and get back to work. it is a good day to be clean and a good day to allow the POWER that fuels my recovery to provide me what i need.

∞ DT ∞