Blog entry for:

i will pay attention to the POWER behind the message. as i watch other addicts recover, i will look for the HIGHER POWER within them so i can better recognize the HIGHER POWER within myself.
as i sit here this morning, peering out my window it looks and feels a whole lot more like April than July. what does that have to do with seeing the POWER within myself and other recovering addicts? my expectations of what to see in the weather -- July == hot and dry, not cool and drizzly, can be extended to illustrate of how i can miss the transforming power of the message of recovery i have choose to carry. what i look for and what i see are often not the same thing, and as a consequence i end up missing what i most NEED to see. in my haste to make snap judgments i lose the most important point, the program is awakening within me that piece of the divine spark that has always been there. that spark that could not be extinguished by years of active addiction, that spark that could not be destroyed by decades of bad behavior. somehow i arrived in the rooms with just enough of that spark intact, that i could get the message of recovery, and even better i could pass that along to other addicts. my problem these days, is what about those i work with who do not seem to be getting it? do i give up and move on, or do i persevere and keep on trying? i have no pat answer to that question, and it is one i have started to answer on a case by case basis. i recently fired a sponsee, this action was not taken lightly, and it demonstrates some growth on my part. i attempted to get him to fire me, as i always do by leaving it up to him in a very short time frame. in fact i gave him the opportunity to do nothing at all and end that part of our relationship. he choose to respond, but not take any action, so GOD provided me the opportunity to do what needed to be done. in this case, it was to allow him to seek another person to guide him through the recovery process, as i do not feel i am doing anything more than enabling him to remain stagnant. i do not know how it felt for him, all i know that it was an agonizing decision for me, and one that when completed felt like the next right thing to do.
well in short, a great goal is to be aware of that spark in all i run into today, not just those in the fellowship, and remember just as i want others to recognize that spark within me, i must learn to see it within them.

∞ DT ∞