δ when i discover that self-therapy is not so therapeutic after all Δ
Posted: Sat, Jul 21, 2007 08:03:49 AM
i need to take advantage of **the therapeutic value of one addict helping another.**
so here i sit, waiting for paint to dry, in a metaphorical sense, and i am pondering the nature of my surrender. am i really surrendering my will and my life into the care of a POWER GREATER THAN ME? of course that POWER may be GOD as i understand GOD, but it can also be the fellowship and the program that has allowed me to discover this new manner of living. all of this deep philosophical thought is wonderful when i have the time and the patience to contemplate the true meaning of life the universe and everything, however something i have learned over the course of my recovery is that what works the best for me is to do what i did three thousand and six hundred days ago, accept that this is how things work and do not sweat the details about HOW this recovery gig works. the one concept that i have always found troublesome is this whole therapeutic value gig. how can one addict understand and be of help to me? after all, they have not been where i have been, nor have they lived the life i have lived, so where oh where is the common ground? and so i twist down a path of sophistry and denial, instead of letting this thing just happen. which brings me back to my very first statement, i do not have to understand HOW that therapeutic value is implemented, all i have to do is accept that it is reality, and surrender to the fact that yes life is strange and wonderful, yes my experience varies from everyone else’s in the world BUT the only way i can continue to recover and grow is to accept that i NEED the help of other addicts. that they provide the answers to the pieces that are puzzling to me, and left to my own devices all of this will go down the drain. the last thing i want today is the end of my life as i know it. i have already been through that event and today i am unwilling to let that happen again, so acceptance and surrender is the key to my continues recovery today, plain and simple.
so here i sit, waiting for paint to dry, in a metaphorical sense, and i am pondering the nature of my surrender. am i really surrendering my will and my life into the care of a POWER GREATER THAN ME? of course that POWER may be GOD as i understand GOD, but it can also be the fellowship and the program that has allowed me to discover this new manner of living. all of this deep philosophical thought is wonderful when i have the time and the patience to contemplate the true meaning of life the universe and everything, however something i have learned over the course of my recovery is that what works the best for me is to do what i did three thousand and six hundred days ago, accept that this is how things work and do not sweat the details about HOW this recovery gig works. the one concept that i have always found troublesome is this whole therapeutic value gig. how can one addict understand and be of help to me? after all, they have not been where i have been, nor have they lived the life i have lived, so where oh where is the common ground? and so i twist down a path of sophistry and denial, instead of letting this thing just happen. which brings me back to my very first statement, i do not have to understand HOW that therapeutic value is implemented, all i have to do is accept that it is reality, and surrender to the fact that yes life is strange and wonderful, yes my experience varies from everyone else’s in the world BUT the only way i can continue to recover and grow is to accept that i NEED the help of other addicts. that they provide the answers to the pieces that are puzzling to me, and left to my own devices all of this will go down the drain. the last thing i want today is the end of my life as i know it. i have already been through that event and today i am unwilling to let that happen again, so acceptance and surrender is the key to my continues recovery today, plain and simple.
∞ DT ∞