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it is not going to be handed to us on a silver platter...
dammit, i thought that this was just going to be given to me. i was partly right, recovery is a gift that is freely given HOWEVER, what i have discovered is that this particular gift has a giant cable attached to it. there came a point in my journey where i had to do some work, and begin to practice a bit of reponsibility for the gift i was given. that point, came very early in clean time, and the responsibility to nourish my recovery has grown, rather than diminished over time. lately, i have seen more than one example of what happens to addicts in recovery, who do not take this responsibility seriously. their example is ample warning to me that if i want to continue to receive the gift of recovery, i have to be willing to take responsibility top do what it takes to maintain the recovery i have been given. what exactly does that mean for me today? well for one, it is time to gift off the fence i have been straddling and make a decision to either move on to a new home group or stay with the one i have. this in between phase has lasted long enough. for another it is also time to start writing on my step work again, i have been lolly-gagging long enough. and finally do what i need to do today, call an addict, drop my sponsor a line, go to a meeting, and share whatever i need to share this evening.
sure i can take the inventory of those whom i see lately that are acting in a not so spiritual manner, but exactly what doe that exercise do except create resentments, fear and doubt. no i believe that i will use those examples to look to my own program, accept the responsibility for what i have been letting fall by the wayside, and do what i need to, so that i may get back on the right track. although a detour is sometimes th shortest route to a destination, it very rarely turns out that way. the road of recovery has enough detours that pop up without any intervention by me, my job is to stop making them on my own and accept that i am, what i am, and i am ready to take the responsibility to be more than i have ever been.
nice thought to take to the showers with me.

∞ DT ∞