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had one of those days, where no matter how fast you move, you always seem to be two steps behind where you need to be?
well today is one of those days, and the delicious irony of it all was that this morning‘s reading was about taking personal responsibility for my life and my recovery, and here i am twenty minutes late for work and scrambling to catch up with all the stuff i need to do.
what would i tell a sponsee if he came to me with a similar problem?

close your eyes, take a deep breath, and start over again

well i am no closer to catching up but i am now in a bit better spot. i can see myself wanting someone or something to take over the task of making decisions for me. in fact, i have been living in that mode for the past year. not making decisions and allowing the currents of living to carry me wherever they will, then whining to my sponsor about how nothing is going my way. well i am on the verge of having to remake a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of my HIGHER POWER, and there is a part of my that feels a sense of relief. will that absolve me of my responsibilities of making considered decisions about the direction my life is going -- not hardly! what it will allow me to do is move forward with a bit of FAITH and HOPE into a place where i can once again look forward and make some decisions based on what i would like my life to move forward. you know, do the footwork, make the plans and allow GOD to determine the outcomes. RESPONSIBILITY, FAITH and SURRENDER are all integral spiritual principles of the current phase of my spiritual evolution. i am finally ready to stop living my life by default and take action. and you know it really is a good thing.
∞ DT ∞