Blog entry for:

in the fellowship to learn how to live anew. each day, simply by living life, i will learn something new. i have4 a little habit of looking back to what i wrote last year on this day, i do not do it every day, but often enough to call it a habit. but anyways, looking back, i noticed i was all obsessed about a major change that was going on in my life and wondering if i could make it happen at all. well a year later, that change is still active in my life, and i feel that change seems to be settling down finally, or is it really. as i move forward into my seventh step, all of a sudden the changes being manifest are not in the material world. i am feeling that these changes are far more profound than buying a house and settling into life as a couple.
so now that the reading is about learning something new each day, once again, i am struck with the reality that i am undergoing yet another change, one that is just as profound and long-lasting. it is up to me to open my mind and allow whatever i need to learn today to filter through my conscious filters. the whole trick for me is to remain teachable, rather than falling back on the position that i already know this stuff. yes i have worked a seventh step in the past, and yes i know how to surrender. and perhaps i even know how to humbly ask. but what i am feeling is that i am at a place i have never been before, and all that i know about this step and myself is about to be changed. and like always, change from within always scares the pi$$ out of me, such as it is.
so anyhow yes i am scared, ayes i am excited and yes i have more than enough to distract my conscious animal brain from dwelling on what changes are being manifest in my life. so right here and right now, i think i will deal with the present and allow everything else to make its presence known as it needs to be. after all, that is what i am most comfortable with, and today i want to be comfortable.

∞ DT ∞