Blog entry for:

i could not cope with the simplest of personal problems, but attempted solving the problems of the whole world. this litany of behaviors could go on and on, but what it illustrates for me, is that i had quite a dichotomy of behaviors going on when i entered recovery. what i needed, and what i got, was a manner of living that reconciled these extreme examples, into some sort of shade of grey. it is true, that living a program of recovery, is by far one of the most difficult tasks i have undertaken, and it is also true that the program is far from a panacea for all the ills that infested me in active addiction. but as long as i keep at it, there is hope for me, that i will will continue to become a whole person, instead of the fractured being that walked into the rooms.
so this has been quite the morning so far, problems galore, poor night of sleep, and a day where the weather is far from cooperative, so that i can run. honestly i was ready to bag it, before i finished my coffee i had to run and put out fires, and the caffeine dependent person that i am, my people skills without coffee are far from stellar, so i have a bit of a mess to own up a little bit later, and will have to go back and get cracking on yet another piece of fire that has been smoldering for a bit, but was just brought to my attention today.
so other than being way pout of my routine, which also throws me for a loop, and having requests foisted upon me before i am prepared, it is a good day to recover. so i think i will hit the showers, spend a bit of quiet time, resetting my morning, and see if i can return to living in the solution instead of living in the problem.

∞ DT ∞