Blog entry for:

i may not like to wake up but, once i do, i am almost always glad i did. thinking about this reading, and yes this is one of those i find corny enough to try and dismiss, i look at the state of who and what i was when i came to recovery and who and what i am now. that stark contrast is evidence that something is working in my life, unless i want to trod a different path down into failure, degradation or worse. do i really want the alternative to awakening of my spirit? well honestly some days i think it would be a whole lot easier to be numb, and out of it for the duration. today is not one of those, i can gratefully say that right now. today i am happy to be awake and present for what is going on in my life. the process that allowed that to happen was my journey through the twelve steps. i am actually a bit different than the metaphor in the reading. along the way i had many awakenings of my spirit, instead of the single one alluded to in the reading, that occurs after working the first eleven steps. does that make me somehow different or unique? not by a long shot! my opinion is that when my fellowship adapted the steps from the originators, they did not realize that this spiritual awakening process was the culmination of many spiritual awakenings. or perhaps they feared if they spoke about all the little awakenings, and someone did not have them, that addict would walk away because they were somehow different. or maybe i am different, and my experience does not match up with others. it really does not matter, at least for me today. i may think a metaphor is stretched or corny, and trust me i do, but i no longer dismiss the message because the wrapper, in my not so humble opinion, is lacking depth. those who have gone before me, have taught me that it is not who or what is bringing the message that is important, it is rather the content of the message itself.
so what is the message this morning? well for this addict it is, that if i want to continue to have my spirit awakened, then i NEED to work the steps. anything else will spin me back into my coma existence, slowly or swiftly, that process will come about, and i will be unhappy with the final outcome. the HOPE is that i make the choice to continue on the path of spiritual awakening and by making that choice, i can affirm that i choose to live this day. trust me, today i choose life and recovery!

∞ DT ∞